October Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

**Unfortunately, due to a glitch in our settings the video option is unavailable. The recording shows your lovely faces (for those who had cameras turned on) and we're not comfortable sharing/posting without permission. 

1. Anger has been an issue, I’ve had a hard time looking at it and expressing it. I often drink because of it therefore I struggle with knowing how to release this anger. I feel like it all builds up, and then I crave the drink. Can you talk about how to express anger and what practices you use to release it?

Question asked and answered 11 min into the call

  1. Read. Good and Mad by Rebecca Traister

  2. Try. How To Quickly Burn Up Anger by Hip Sobriety (Blog)

  3. Try. EFT The Tapping Solution (website & video)

2. How do you let go of the sadness, anger, and anxiety that comes with feeling like people just don’t like you, who you are, that you’ll never be enough or you’ll always be too much? I was raised to feel that way about myself and probably perpetuated it by choosing crappy mean friends and partners before Sobriety....I am dealing with it better every year and being a mother of a special needs kid is pretty isolating so in a way it has helped but some moments, some days it still cuts me to my core. That is a big trigger for why I used to drink. Anyway, thank you for being the badass truth telling woman and group that you are!

Question asked and answered 38 min into the call

  1. Read. How Do I Stop Judging Drinkers by Hip Sobriety (Blog)

3. I am interested in shifting my career toward the recovery field because I am so passionate about it, but am not sure where to start. I don't feel that I'd want to own my own business or be a coach, and financially going back to school for social work is not an option at this time. Those are the only career paths I really see - what are some other options?

Question asked and answered 46 min into the call

  1. Read. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

  2. Read. The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield

  3. Read. The Great Work Of Your Life by Stephen Cope (Book)

  4. Read. You’re A Bad Ass by Jen Sincero (Book)

  5. Read. You’re A Bad Ass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (Book)

  6. Do. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

  7. Read. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (Book)

  8. Follow on IG/Check Out She Recovers with Dawn Nickel

  9. Follow on IG/Check Out Lara Frazier

4. I’m wondering what to do if we’re 1. not sober yet and 2. we don’t feel or see the good things in ourselves right now? I’m too nervous to talk but I’m visiting home and I’m staying with family who are mad at me because I spoke up on fucking Facebook about some kavanaugh bs. since I’ve been home I’ve wanted to yell and cry my sexual assault at them because they told me they lost respect and support for me for being anti trump and shit. I’m here now so I’m scared to even ask out loud. since I have I have done so much that reminds me I haven’t grown as much as I thought... I texted an ex I’ve had blocked since June, I wanted to be sober from him more than alcohol and still to this day a little.  But I texted him while I was here and he wanted to meet me and then he just ghosted on me and I’m a fucking rack and I want to do on this vacation that’s supposed to be happy with escrow and so emotional because everything feels so fucked up and I am trying to be sober while I’m here because I know that I cognitively
 can’t drink like I used to. but I’m just so sad at life. how do you handle this kind of sad. I talk to people here, I move around, I work and am working on me... but still, sad and disappointed at myself for still being where I am.

Question asked and answered 46 min into the call

  1. Read the Mantras and repeat them.

  2. Read. The Tipping Point by Laura McKowen (Blog)

  3. Read. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  4. Read. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (Book)

  5. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

SEPTEMBER Q&A CALL.

This is also available in an audio format so you can download and listen to on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

1. I wanted to get your take on spouse expectations and reactions. When you come from a place based on drinking and erratic moods, being unreliable and the things that go along with it. After not drinking for 6 months, there are a lot of expectations. It comes down to pressure, which I really reject. My initial reaction is I’m doing the best that I can. I almost feel like I needs to manage my spouse’s expectations.

Question asked and answered 8 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (Book)

  2. Listen. Megan Peters on HOME (Podcast)

  3. Try. Motivational Interviewing (via Integral Recovery)

2. I lost one of the most important people in my life last week. I’ve been out of control drinking, and while I’ve reached out, I give up and mostly feel like I don’t care. Is there something I can do, or one small practice, while I’m grieving?

Question asked and answered 14 mins into the call.

  1. Read.  A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  2. Read. A Course In Miracles (Book)

  3. Read. The Bhagavad Gita translation by Eknath Easwaran (Book)

  4. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

  5. Do. Siri Gaitri Mantra (Yogaglo Meditation)

  6. Do. Gabby Bernstein Meditation  (Meditations)

3. I understand pretty well how to wind down after a long day without wine, but I also used to use it to energize (to help get me through work and tasks I didn’t want to do). What can I do to replace it in that case?

Question asked and answered 19 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Holly Doesn’t Talk For 10 Days on HOME (Podcast)

  2. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

4. At the beginning of this year I moved to Montana with my boyfriend and a good friend/former co-worker to further our careers as farmers. A lot of it has been really great, but I knew that it was going to be hard to live and work together, especially because my friend is a problem drinker. He came in part under the pretense of wanting to lessen/stop his drinking but over time it has escalated. I don't want to give up on him. I don't want to lose him at work (he is an amazing assistant when he isn't hungover). I believe in him with all of my heart and I want to have hope that if I am patient, that things could turn around but at the same time I am worried that I am enabling him and not letting him "hit his rock bottom." It is difficult because I feel that if everyone gave up on me at the end of my drinking that I may not be where I am now. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Question asked and answered 25 mins into the call.

  1. Read. What To Do When Your Lobster Is Addicted by Laura McKowen (Article)

5. This question is about relationships and resilience. What I’ve noticed that every time I fall and get back up there’s always this learning lesson on resilience. You just keep marching on. Three months ago I decided to show up unapologetically in the dating world. I fell hard and fast and this person was sober. They were my bells and whistles and then three months later totally ghosted me. I’m too connected and my struggle is that I’m coming back through it. Two weeks ago I sat down and started doing your work again. I remembered where I was at three months ago and I’m rocked to my core. I’m lost and I feel like I don’t know how to find myself anymore. My heart hurts so bad and it’s so fucked up that relationships can you bring you to this core of utter despair and it feels like all of my tools are out the door. My question is: I recognize that there’s a faster resilience point to the healing process this time. How do I take what I learned and apply it to my sobriety?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 7 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

August Q&A Call.

This is also available in an audio format so you can download and listen to on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

1. First, what is going on biologically with our bodies at like 8-9 months that makes us feel so BLAH? This comes up repeatedly. First, we realize we have to lay off sugar (which we may have been using through the early days) then we move on to larger self-care issues that we'd likely ignored for years (instead of just getting massages and Ekka boxes). Just wondering if you’ve read anything to explain what’s happening physically at this time? Second, I noticed that some of us have also gone out of the unicorn, high energy rainbow area of rebounding mentally and we feel like we are in a negative thinking loop. It's bad, self hatred just as rancid as the talk I was talking when I was drinking, I feel like everything I say is idiotic, mean, wrong - it's like paranoia almost. Maybe it's the social climate, never good enough, no one likes me. I also think it's disappointment in our bodies for some of us, I thought I'd lose weight. The ultimate answer I'm looking for is - what to expect next or what to do? I want to plan a trip again but I'm doing my dental work and it's a DRAG and I'm feeling just STUCK. I want a special 8-month module with a checklist of things that says “do this” (maybe the 4-Quadrant map revisited).

Question asked and answered 8 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Hormone Cure by Sara Gottfried (Book)

  2. Listen. Meggan Watterson on HOME (Podcast)

  3. Read. You’re A Badass by Jen Sincero (Book)

  4. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

  5. Read. Make Miracles In 40 Days by Melody Beattie (Book)

2. I’m trying to work on heart healing and forgiveness. I’ve gotten past forgiving myself for a lot of things, but there are some things in the past (over 10 years old) that I can’t let go of and forgive - do you have any advice or recommendations for how to practice this?

Question asked and answered 24 mins into the call.

  1. Do. Sat Kartar (Meditation)

  2. Do. Siri Gaitri mantra (Meditation)

  3. Listen. The Bodhisattva Mind by Pema Chodron (Audible)

  4. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audible)

3. What advice do you have for traveling and avoiding temptation and staying on my sobriety path?

Question asked and answered 30 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

4. Can you explain more about PAWs this post withdraw that can happen after we quit drinking. I have felt and heard others feeling the same way around the 7,8,9 months of Sobriety.

Question asked and answered 34 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. What Is PAWs by Annie Grace (Podcast)

5. What was your experience of hitting a year and how did you continue the momentum of that? Secondly, when you started meditating regularly outside of yoga class, was it scary for you to be quiet and look inward? I’m introspective and I process things a lot but there’s a difference between when I’m on the mat with my teacher vs. when I’m on my own.

Question asked and answered 39 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Alcohol Explained by William Porter (Book)

  2. Do. Headspace (Guided meditation app)

  3. Do. Insight Timer (Guided meditation app)

  4. Do. Deepak and Oprah (Guided meditation challenges)

6. I've been following your work for about two years now. I've been sober almost all of that time, and I am a member of HSS/ACE. Basically, I dig your message, and what you provide has helped me immensely - so thank you. In my exposure to your work, I don't think I've ever seen anything about having a conversation with someone else about their drinking. I'm sure it's showed up in comments before and I may have missed it. I guess my question is... If you had that conversation with someone, what might it look like and if you are against that type of conversation, why? I realize they will not like it. I would have hated it. But I also didn't have anyone who knew me well, who was doing self-inquiry work, who cared about my well-being, and who spoke directly to my behaviors. So. I don't know. Maybe at least my words will be taken with a certain amount of perspective. Or not. My main concern is offering support in a letter vs conversation. The recipient (my ex-partner of 8 years and) as of this coming Sunday, ex-roommate of 10 years(if that made your brain hurt, same), is notorious for flight or freeze under stress and I know they'll shut down if I try to initiate a conversation so I don't know if it's kind or cowardly to offer my thoughts in a letter?

Question asked and answered 49 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

7. Hi Holly, I wondered if you could talk a little bit about the idea of waiting at least a year before making any big changes to your life after becoming sober (relationships, career, moving, etc.) I know many programs and people encourage it, including the counselor I started seeing about a month ago. I'm not looking for a new relationship--the opposite, actually. I ended a relationship shortly before becoming sober and have really enjoyed getting to know me these past 4+ months. But things like career or moving (either to a new apartment in my city or to a new location altogether) have been popping into my head for a few months now. I can't tell if I am seriously ready for a change or am just becoming aware of the possibilities that are now opening up to me. Last month, I ALMOST applied for a job in D.C. that seemed like a really good fit, but decided not to because of the "1 year rule" and instantly felt a sense of calmness come over me. Easy, I didn't have to decide if I really WANTED the job because I'm not allowed to even apply for it right now. It was almost like I was using the "1 year rule" to get out of making any decisions right now, and is that the right thing for me to be doing?I just wondered if you felt similarly early in the experience and had any thoughts. Or, if you had any books, podcasts or other resources to recommend for people in a similar situation?

Question asked and answered 57 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

8. What do you do for random fun? When you just want to stop working for yourself - just for one day?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 3 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

9. I have a particular person that always triggers me or makes me feel triggered when I’m around them. Am I avoiding them/some stuff or is there something that I need to address?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 7 mins into the call.

  1. Try. The Tapping Solution Meditations with Nick Ortner (EFT)

10. Hi Holly, I'm coming up on 2.5 years of sobriety and I still have the occasional drinking nightmare. It is completely frazzling and unnerving every time. Do they ever completely go away? Do you have any tips, thoughts, suggestions, etc... on this?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 14 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

June Q&A Call.

1. I listened to alcohol explained by William Porter, and loved it. I had rage towards my son and felt like I was traumatizing him, and this book helped tremendously. I see how it’s hard to do the other stuff until you get rid of the alcohol.

Question asked and answered 7 mins into call.

  1. Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter (book)

2. I'm waking up at 3am with anxiety, what can I do to help with this? I feel like I need a good clearing meditation exercise or tool?

Question asked and answered 30 min into call.

  1. Go back through week 5, review ‘sleep tips’ (your school workbook)

  2. Try. Evening Meditation (YogaGlo)

  3. Try. Caliber of Life Meditation (video)

  4. Try. Clearing Meditation (YogaGlo)

3. I’m struggling in a way that I thought I had already passed. I feel so disconnected from everybody, it’s making me really sad. I had family here this weekend, and if anything came up (political, etc) I was really emotional and hurt and angry. But I feel like they expect me to sit there and not talk about what I think is important. I’ve completely pulled away from them. I’m feeling isolated in my family and have like one friend. I find myself not talking, cause I feel hurt or rejected by everything that comes back at me.

Question asked and answered 35 min into call.

  1. Read. Make Miracles in 40 Days by Melody Beattie (book)

4. I wanted to ask about skin and acne and hormones. But I’m still smoking cigarettes, but also wondering when it should clear up?

Question asked and answered 52 min into call.

  1. Read. The Hormone Cure by Sara Gottfried (book)

  2. Read. The Diet Cure by Julia Ross (book)

  3. Try. Parsley Health (website)

  4. Read/Try. How to do an Elimination Diet by Mary Vance (blog)

MAY Q&A Call.

1. Live question: there’s that part in Carr’s book about “if you don’t want to drink, don’t hang out with those people” and I’ve followed that advice. I don’t drink and the people I surround myself with know it’s a black and white issue. However, the one outlier for is my inlaws. It’s a fucked up relationship and I need to figure out how to cope around them.

Answered 22 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson

  2. Read. The Bodhisattva Way

2. Live question: I wonder if you can talk a little about fear of public speaking? When it’s 5 people it’s conversational and easy - but when that number grows I get intense fight or flight feelings of anxiety. I find myself having to drink afterwards to bring myself down.

Answered 29 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Overcoming Fears by Louise Hay

  2. Watch. Power Poses with Amy Cuddy TED Talk

3. Hi Holly! I couldn’t make the event in Brooklyn last week. I can’t wait to go to the next one. How did it go? Can you talk about it

Answered 42 mins into the call.

Interested in hosting or attending? Fill out this form.

4. Do you have any new mantras or older ones with new insight that we should consider revisiting?

Answered 54 mins into the call.

  1. Read. A Course In Miracles (book)

  2. Read. The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson

  3. Read. Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson

  4. Read. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

APRIL Q&A CALL #1.

APRIL Q&A CALL #2.

1. I’m doing all of the things and I got up and I did the Tattva Balancer, but the thing is I’m feeling like I’m dragging through life. The meditation gets me through the day, but that’s becoming burdensome and sad. I then told myself I’m doing these things not to get through it, but to change my brain. That made me feel better, but just wanted your thoughts on it?

Question asked and answered 38 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Make Miracles in 40 Days by Melody Beattie (Book)

2. So my grandpa died last week and I am reading the Eulogy on Friday. Simultaneously I found this dream camper van and I latched onto the idea of owning it on an obsession level. I started manifesting ownership of this freedom vehicle like mad. I was on pinterest 24/7 and telling everyone and following #vanlife stuff... I could barely sleep. And then it came crashing down when I realized that there were other people interested in buying it, and would be able to see it before me. I am trying to leave it up to fate but in all my reflection of it (thanks Full moon) I have realized I was using the excitement over the van as escapism from my grandfather. It is just interesting to realize that it comes in so many forms and I am so glad that I can recognize it now

  1. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

  2. Read. Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson

March group coaching call.

1. Try. Evening Meditation with Kia Miller (YogaGlo)

2. What's on Holly's reading list these days?

February group coaching calls.

Monday Call, First Generation Only.

1. What about next steps? Specifically, I have been organizing everything in my life to support my sobriety, eg, lots of activity, spiritual and psychological work, NO liquor in my environment. Recently, I have made some forays outside of the bubble, like, last week went to a church fundraiser and had a bottle of wine set down IN FRONT of me (gawd, I love the Catholic Church!). I moved it down the table, ate quickly, and left. The real world still drinks, Pam. What else do I need to do? I am not ready for real life yet…

Question and discussion 37:00 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

  2. Read. Lost Connections by Johan Hari

  3. Read. The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson

  4. Read. A Course In Miracles

2. I don’t mind raising my hand but I’ll give you a head’s up. 😃 I am coming up on a year AFAF Feb. 1. Do you have any best practices to keep oneself solid when you are feeling secure? I know: all the things! But maybe if you’ve heard some cautionary tales of relapse at a year or beyond? What wisdom is there I can benefit from? I want to be bold and confident and blaze forward, but I want to be smart and careful, too. To use all tools I can to keep on this wonderful path. WAIT! Did I tell you how much fucking better my life is now that I don’t drink !?!?

Question and discussion 09:13 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Meggan Watterson on HOME (Podcast)

  2. Read. May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein

  3. Read. Now That I’m 4 Years Sober (Hip Sobriety Blog Post)

3. I am really struggling with jealousy. It impacts every part of my day, every day. I am so jealous of my co-worker, she is so god damn gorgeous and perfect looking, some days it takes all of my strength to be nice to her. I feel like such a zitty, old, ragged mother. There are many other examples.... It’s just feels like too much anger for no good reason. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Question and discussion 19:15 mins into the call.

  1. Try. Mudita (YogaGlo)

Saturday Call, Both Generations

1. I’ve been working on self-compassion and also working on letting go of some of my stories and staying in victim mode. I worry that my work on self-compassion keeps me stuck in victim mode.

Question and discussion 8 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Judgement Detox by Gabby Bernstein

  2. Read. The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson

2. I’ve been in that exhaustion phase the last couple of weeks. In and out. One week I feel good then I feel terrible. Bloat, fatigue, headache ( I don’t get headaches). How long does this last for the average person and brain fog?  I get like light-headed. L-Glutamine doesn’t seem to help in the afternoon. Looking at HSS and Mary Vance and cutting out coffee. I LOVE coffee but I think it is fucking with my digestive. Which leads to laxatives which leads to more fatigue. So I am guessing it is a systemic situation and I’m healing but it is hard to do all the things right now. Is this normal and when will it readjust ? I started working again, so I am hitting a wall trying to find balance - in what seems to be a rapidly changing world.  This is its own skill.  I just want coffee but I am tired of the leaky gut.

Question and discussion 13 mins into the call.

  1. Try. Parsley Health

  2. Read. Week 5 HSS Workbook

  3. Try. Coaching with Mary Vance

3. I feel the pressure to be a happy fun person makes me want to drink. I am obsessed with psychology and personal growth.  But I take myself so seriously sometimes.  How can I be all the shades of me?  How can I be authentic and still "blow off steam?"  How can others learn to love all the parts of me?

Question and discussion 25:09 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson

  2. Read. May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein

  3. Listen. Loving What Is by Byron Katie

  4. Read. The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers by Debbie Forde

4. Can you talk about money, remind us of the work you have done around abundance and financial sobriety?

Question and discussion 52:00 mins into the call.

  1. Read. You’re A Badass by Jen Sincero

  2. Read. You're A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

  3. Read. The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles

  4. Try the mantra: "Money loves me and it comes to me easily."

 

Past Group Coaching Calls.

Month 10 (January 2018) Group Coaching Call #2.

Month 10 (January 2018) Group Coaching Call #1.

Month 9 (December 2017) Group Coaching Call

Month 9 (December 2017) Group Coaching Call

Month 8 (November 2017) Group Coaching Call

Month 7 (October 2017) Group Coaching Call

Month 6 (September 2017) Group Coaching Call #2

Month 6 (September 2017) Group Coaching Call #1

Month 5 (August 2017) Group Coaching Call #2

Month 5 (August 2017) Group Coaching Call #1

 

Month 4 (July 2017) Group Coaching Call

Month 3 (June 2017) Group Coaching Call

Month 2 (May 2017) Group Coaching Call

Month 1 (April 2017) Group Coaching Call


On Alcohol Culture.

1. How can we change this alcohol-centric culture and all its delusions?! I worried it's hurting people I love as well as the the environment for my future children?

Question and discussion at 1:12:05 into the April video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

2. How do you deal with "normie's" ignorance, judgement, condemnation stigma bullshit!!?? I found myself so angry and in so much pain over it yesterday. I can't stand it -but I can't change them. I can only change my reaction to their ignorance.

Question and discussion at 08:05 into the July video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

3. I have a stumbling block. At first it was social gatherings and restaurants. Now i can get through these sober. And well. Like i enjoyed it and am proud. But it’s the next day. I’ve had 3 occasions now where i fall off the next day. It’s like a crazy self sabotage. I’m sober everywhere else. It’s the last piece. Can you shed some light on this?

Question and discussion in the December 18th video.

  1. Revisit. Week 3 - Habit & Night Ritual (Hip Sobriety School)

  2. Do. Overcoming The Urge - Hip Sobriety Course.

ON ANXIETY.

1. On experiencing panic attacks and anxiety after sobriety.

  1. Kelly’s website (email to Casey)

  2. Jolene Park on HOME Podcast

  3. Jolene Park website

  4. Botulism-induced Panic Attacks

2. I'm not having cravings anymore, but during my drinking I was really addicted to the chaos that ran in my life. Now I've got some time in, I'm feeling calm, I meditate, but I have some fear around moving forward with my life. I went to enroll in a course and it's kept me stuck because I'm afraid of moving back into that chaos. When I went to enroll, I actually wanted to drink.

Question and discussion 1:01:49 into the January 2018 Call #2.

  1. Do. The meditation in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford (Book)

On Balance In Sobriety.

1. I am really struggling with how to balance self-care and responsibility in early recovery. I am nearly 7 months sober and still feel so depleted, energetically, spiritually, emotionally...all of it. I am home with my young kids for the first time ever but still have so little energy and patience for them. My husband is very supportive but I have constant guilt over handing the kids over to him at the end of the day or on the weekend when he's worked all day (and I've been home trying to avoid the kids.) I get that I need to treat this as an illness and that I'm still fighting for my life here but how long can it reasonably go on? I worry that I'm going to justify not wanting to deal with kids/life/needing to work again at some point because I'm recovering from this bitch. When does self-care turn into selfish and lazy?

Question and discussion at 1:04:10 into the July video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

2. I'm finding that I'm having sort of a let down of energy after being so jazzed and hyper during the HSS Spring session. Trying to stay motivated but really having problems staying on track with my routines. Do you find this happens to others too & how long into your sobriety before you hit your " new normal" # findingoutforeversoberisalongtime.

  1. What I Do For Fun (Now That I’m Sober) (Blog)

3. How do you practice being ok in the now?

  1. A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle

On Counting Days + Owning Sobriety.

1. I struggle with counting days- feels like a strange tally. But it's so valued. Maybe I'm just afraid of committing. And I do have a goal to be sober for a year. Do you recommend I cross that line, commit and go for it?

Question and discussion at at 24:40 into the April video here.

1. Read. Recommended authors:

  1. Annie Grace

  2. Allen Carr

  3. Craig Beck

  4. Jason Vale

2. I read in the Easy Way to Quit Drinking that you should be able to be in pubs once you decide you no longer want to drink and it's all good cause you see it's stupid and a toxin and you no longer feel pulled to it. For me, though, the pub is a huge trigger. Since the Fall course I went 45 days without drinking which was a huge record for me. I've completely changed my routine and have gone from going to the pub 4 nights a week to maybe once every two weeks or so. It was my outlet and way to socialize and that is no longer the case for the most part. However, when I do go some people aren't a trigger for me and I don't drink but there are a few people who are big triggers for me and I end up drinking. Do I need to just stay out of the pub period? Or should I be able to handle it? I know avoidance long term won't work. I'm just kinda confused about how to handle that. It's hard to fully avoid the pub when that is what my friends do to socialize.

Question and discussion at 47:30 into the April video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

3. After being sober for 5 months, I had a 24 hour slip and literally drank it straight. I have now been sober three months since then, but feel like I have to announce to the world the slip instead of just owning 8 months on this sobriety path. Any words of wisdom?

Question and discussion at 54:15 into the May video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

4. I'm finding that I'm really hard on myself (often) for the times that I'm not handling life gracefully. For example, this morning, I lost my shit with my kids for being totally annoying but also, totally kids. I know that 'pain is inevitable and suffering is optional,' I know that I'm creating the suffering by how I'm perceiving the situation but

 A) I'm having trouble not being pissed off at them for "how they are" and B) I'm having even more trouble not being pissed at myself for being so "un-evolved" in my reactions and my thoughts about them.

This kind of thing used to send me to bed for days but the anger stayed (mostly) external. I was able to justify my anger b/c their behavior was so outrageous in my mind. Now that I know better I really want to do better....but I just don't. Thoughts on why this is particularly hard now, in early sobriety (almost 5 months!!!) And, any recommendations for books or meditations that might help me reframe my perspective?

Question and discussion at 57:40 into the May video here.

  1. Listen. Seane Corne on HOME Podcast.

    1. Do. The protocol she mentions in the interview.

  2. Read. Poop, Ice Cream, and Spirit Holly.

  3. Read. Dark Side of the Light Chasers. Debbie Ford

5. I haven't 'come out' about my sobriety & feel somewhat inauthentic, but also protective of myself since I feel people my age( older) are very judgmental about alcoholism & addiction, & am not sure I'm up for that. I feel a bit stuck on how to handle this. My husband is the only one who knows & I’m on day 136.

Question and discussion at 1:10:38 into the May video here.

  1. Review. Week 6 Module of Hip Sobriety School.

6. Sometimes I do amazing at sobriety, but then I fall and it feels harder to get back up. What do you suggest for those of us who are sober but continuously fall? I flip flop with "this is forever" and I'm never drinking again and "well, one glass won't hurt." Like sometimes I feel like I don't have enough energy for my life + sobriety.

Question and discussion at 28:51 into the June video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

7. What can I do when it seems like "not a big deal" to drink? I had no big consequences or low bottom.

Question and discussion at 36:50 into the June video here.

  1. Do. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte (Book)

  2. Read. The Tipping Point by Laura McKowen (Blog)

8. Do you think it's possible to be truly free (of our addiction, for this example) if we aren't totally open about it? I'm not out and the thought of having to be so in order to gain total liberty terrifies me. Because I am no longer drinking my Dark Passenger is locked in the boot of the car rather than in the driving seat, which is cool. I acknowledge that they will always be there but not in control. I haven't read this month's book yet so there may be an answer to this there, but I'd love your opinion, as always.

Question and discussion at 32:00 into the July video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

9. I am struggling with feelings of shame around people learning that I don’t drink anymore. Do you have suggestions for letting go of what people think?

  1. Try. Power poses

  2. Read. Coming Out Sober by Holly Whitaker (Hip Sobriety Blog)

10. I’d like to follow on from the shame/coming out sober question. I’ve been very honest (blogging) with my journey but now feel as though people will just say ‘oh here she goes again, we’ve heard it all before. I feel like I’ve used my chances up asking for support.

  1. Listen. Pema Chödrön and Alice Walker in Conversation: On the Meaning of Suffering and the Mystery of Joy (Audiobook)

10. Can you talk about the idea of a second sobriety? I heard Tommy Rosen talk about it and I can’t get the idea out of my head.

Question asked and discussed 1:10:00 mins into the call into the January 2018 Call #1

  1. Listen. Tommy Rosen on HOME Podcast (Podcast)

  2. Listen. Happy-ish Mostly New Year HOME Podcast (Podcast)

  3. Listen. Veronica Valli on HOME Podcast (Podcast)

11. I am a little bit concerned about my sober anniversary —losing energy or resolve once I meet that milestone Feb 1. I’m good at meeting goals, but often, once I meet my goal, I lose my motivation. I would love to hear your thoughts on that (one-year issues). What have you gathered from others on this?

Question asked and discussed 8 mins into the January 2018 Call #1.

1. Read. Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza (Book)

on the craving brain.

1. On smoking pot for pain, approaching marijuana sobriety, and the craving brain.

  1. Read. Why And How I Quit Coffee by Holly Whitaker (Hip Sobriety Blog)

  2. Read. Dear Hip Sobriety: How Did You Quit Smoking Pot? by Holly Whitaker (Hip Sobriety Blog)

2. It's a special kind of hell at times to be a lower-bottom or "grey area drinker" as Jolene Park calls it on her new TedTalk.  What is the best way not to fucking lie to ourselves?  It happened to me the other day and I was astounded by the seductiveness of alcohol's voice.

Question and discussion in the December 23rd video.

  1. Read. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Book)

  2. Read. Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler (Book)

3. My question has to do with the brain. I was thinking about “where it clicks” - i.e.  in Allen Carr’s book and This Naked Mind where they talk about the subconscious shifting of our thinking. How does the click work in the brain? How do we do it?

Question and discussion 50:20 the January 2018 Call #2.

  1. Watch. Pleasure Unwoven (Video)

ON DEPRESSION.

1. In this month’s lecture you talk about confronting the cause head on and how staying in the discomfort can create deeper change in the brain. I have a family history of depression and I’ve noticed lately that when I try to “stay” I become immobile. I’ve had days recently where in trying to be in the fire my body can’t seem to take it and I find myself passing out for hours on end. I’m scared that 1) this is my genetics kicking in and 2) that it may be a roadblock in me being able to break the narrative and move forward. In summary,  can my family history of depression be a roadblock to the deeper change you’re talking about?

Question and discussion at 03:48 into the June video here.

  1. Read. The Erasing by Glennon Doyle Melton (Blog)

  2. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  3. Do. Review Week 7 of Hip Sobriety School

  4. Do. Acceptance Meditation with Gabby Bernstein

2. On day 12 I faced the BIG VOID. That awful feeling of emptiness and finding no gratification in anything. I buckled and drank. Can you remind us of ways out of the dark void? It gets me every time.

  1. Listen. Relapse 2 of 2 - HOME (Podcast)

  2. Read. The Erasing - Glennon Doyle (Blog)

On Diet Culture.

Rejecting Diet Culture:

Discussion at 43:06 into the May video here

  1. Listen. Isabel Foxen Duke on HOME Podcast.

  2. Visit. Isabel's website.

ON FAMILY.

1. What advice do you have for interacting with family or friends who are in active addiction and cycling in and out of sobriety? Why can I be there and be gentle for acquaintances but not my loved ones?

  1. Read. Beyond Addiction by Jeffrey Foote (Book)

  2. Listen. Pema Chodron and Alice Walker - Tonglen (Audiobook)

  3. Listen. Loving What Is by Byron Katie (Audiobook)

2. On telling your family about your sobriety and feeling unheard:

  1. Read. How Do I Face Telling My Family About My Sobriety by Holly Whitaker (Hip Sobriety Blog)

  2. Read. Fail, Fail Again, Fail Better - Pema Chodron (Book)

ON FEAR.

1. I absolutely loved the lecture on joy! I am curious if you would be willing to talk to us about the sentence that "fear is excitement without the breath." I've been realizing how much I live in fear lately and would love to hear what your thoughts are about fear. I appreciate you and everyone in this group more than words can express.

Question and discussion at 05:15 into the April video here.

  1. Do. Sarah Blondin Insight Timer.

  2. Review. Trauma Week in your respective Hip Sobriety School.

  3. Do. Breathing exercise from your respective Hip Sobriety School.

ON FINDING "IRL" COMMUNITY.

1. How can we create an in real life community for people in recovery that is similar to HSS rather than traditional 12 step groups? I've been to Refuge Recovery and AA groups, but I want to be able to talk about books and holistic living that falls outside of approved literature.

Question and discussion at 1:02:35  into the April video here.

  1. Hip AC.E. “Where Are Your Peeps At?” Email us at admin@hipsobriety.com to join the list!

on forgiveness.

1. What are some of your favorite resources on forgiveness?

Question asked and discussed 1:03:00 mins into the call into the January 2018 Call #1. 

  1. Read. A Course In Miracles (Book)

  2. Try. Tara Brach on Insight Timer (Meditation App)

  3. Read. May Cause Miracles by Gabby Bernstein (Book)

  4. Listen. Forgiveness on HOME Podcast (Podcast)

ON GETTING UNSTUCK.

1. I have a hard time wrapping my head around thinking "I am exactly where I am supposed to be," and sitting and being ok with that, but then in another breath telling myself I need to keep moving. Because, you know, if I don't keep moving, I am staying stuck, but if I am thinking of moving, I am not ok sitting with where I am at. Now I am stuck in the circle of this conundrum!!

Question and discussion at 02:06 into the May video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

2. How do you make the transition from honoring where you are, being patient, and putting together the building blocks of recovery AND seizing the things that makes you passionate? Also, how do you do it when you really shouldn’t even be doing it?

Question and discussion  at 25:55 into the May video here.

  1. Read. You're A Badass. Jen Sincero

  2. Read. You're A Badass at Making Money. Jen Sincero

 

3. On cognitive behavior therapy and getting unstuck.

Question and discussion at 19:52 into the May video here.

  1. Read. Emotional Intelligence 2.0

  2. Mentioned. When Panic Attacks

4. In the "Getting Unstuck" process I've come back a few times to a quote by Rainer Rilke:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them33. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

So my question is how do you live this on a daily basis? I'm the kind of person (go figure) who hates uncertainty. I want to KNOW what the outcome is...and have a hard time just 'being'. So, as I'm 14 months sober, plugging along every day, but don't quite know what's "next" or "what I should be doing with my life" now that I'm not drinking, what are some practical tips and tricks to maintaining a positive mindset while living in the 'not knowing' or 'feeling stuck'. What do you actually 'do' on a daily basis to trust the process when you can't quite see that the universe is unfolding as it should. How do you keep yourself in a positive mindset on a daily basis and have patience with the process?

Question and discussion at 33:33 into the May video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

5. What is your process of manifesting? Gabby Bernstein's version doesn't make much sense to me... are there other ways of telling the universe what you want/need/desire? Any other authors you would recommend?

Question and discussion at 1:15:40 into the April video here.

  1. Read. You're A Badass. Jen Sincero

  2. Read. May Cause Miracles. Gabby Bernstein.

  3. Read. Outrageous Openness. Tosha Silver.

  4. Do. Future Self Meditation.

  5. Do. Write a letter to your future self on FutureMe.org

  6. Do. Daily affirmations and mantras.

6. Some days I am so happy with where things are at, but I quickly start thinking about the future - house projects, savings, travel, etc. This can undo me when I am trying to stay focused and grounded. I start to unravel thinking about how much I still need to do. What things do you do to stay in the present?

Question and discussion at 1:20:57 into the May video here.

  1. nswered. No additional resources mentioned.

7. Maybe I already know the answer to my question, but I'm just going to ask it anyway since it's been an ongoing theme for me for awhile now - the madness that comes with feeling like there's too much of a life mess and where the fuck do I begin. I'm going to redo/update my 4 quadrant map and you suggest writing down the things that are working for you right now from the different quadrants (i.e. maybe $ is good, or your love life is awesome, or you're in a meditation groove, career is on fire, etc.), but (and here is the actual question) what if you look at the map and you feel like nothing is working? Nothing is quite right. Every quadrant sucks right now. Yes, I do believe that there is always good and beauty and gifts hidden in all the suck, but I feel like even when I latch on to those little gems it's just not enough to build upon. Or at least it doesn't feel like it. Or the feeling of good doesn't last long enough to motivate me to push on. Just wondering what your thoughts were on this and also figured I may not be the only one who feels the weight of my blank quadrant map.

Question and discussion at 1:24:00 into the May video here.

  1. Review. Holly's Week 3 List from October 2012 + her first four quadrant map (on your respective HSS site).

  2. Do. In your Four Quadrant Map, write out the following:

    1. Upper Left: Meditation practice.

    2. Upper Right: Drink a lot of water.

    3. Lower Left: HIP AC.E. community + in-person socializing once per month (as extra credit).

    4. Lower Right: Using my Four Quadrant Map.

    5. Start making small steps towards what you're concerned about and add them to your Four Quadrant goals.

8. Help! I realized that I might be the opposite of stuck - I'm an over accomplisher - due to a strict and abusive childhood. I have trouble resting. Even self care can become another "to-do." How can I give myself permission to rest?

Question and discussion at 1:34:00 into the May video here.

  1. Listen. Perfectionism on HOME Podcast

  2. Read. Rise Sister Rise. Rebecca Campbell

9. Is surrender part of getting unstuck? This has been bugging me for a few months now as I keep hearing about it and don't know how to do it! How do we differentiate between surrender and giving up? To give you a personal example, I feel stuck in my health issues. It's been over a decade now and I'm still working to find out exactly what's wrong and how to fix it. But I feel if I surrender to these problems then I give up trying to get better, and I won't improve my health status. It would be like admitting defeat and telling myself that I don't actually want to get better because I've stopped working for it.

Question and discussion at 1:45:45 into the May video here.

  1. Read. We Already Know Everything. We Only Have To Remember. (Blog)

  2. Review. Week 0 - Orientation for Hip Sobriety School.

  3. Read. A Return to Love. Marianne Williamson

10. If I'm really doing good work, why am I losing good things in my life?

  1. Read. A Return to Love. Marianne Williamson

11. I'm tired of being someone other than my true self. I'm really struggling standing up for myself when I'm degraded or sexualized by men. Mostly this happens with men much older than me who grew up in the Mad Men era. I'm really starting to hate men. But I also hate the part of myself that will accept inappropriate comments to be nice and likable.

Question and discussion at 1:01:16 into the June video here.

  1. Read. Why I'm Not A Feminist: A Feminist Manifesto by Jessa Crispin (Book)

  2. Read. The Will To Change by Bell Hooks (Book)

  3. Read. About Men: Grabbing Pussy and the Love Ethic (Blog)

ON LOSS & GRIEF.

1. I just heard about Carrie Fisher having drugs in her system when she died. For so many reasons, this breaks my heart. Can Holly talk to us about how she's delt with high-profile deaths of those who have lost the battle to the disease. I know that Phillip S. Hoffman's death was really impactful for her. Just feeling really rattled and curious if she has any tips on how to sit in the fire with news like this.

Questions and discussion at 01:08:00 into the June video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

on meditation + yoga.

1. Can you dilute Kundalini meditations overtime through "too much" practice?

  1. Try. Kia Miller on Yogaglo. (Kundalini Meditations)

  2. Written Yogi Bhajan tutorial COMING IN SEPTEMBER. It's locked away in storage until at least 9/14.

2. After all this time, I still have not had a continuous meditation practice. I took a mindfulness based stress reduction class, read all the meditation books, tried a variety of different types, and it still has not stuck. I know it will be good for me once I do it, I just cannot get to the sticking point. Do you have any suggestions for making it work long term?

  1. Try. Gabby’s May Cause Miracles - Audio Meditations

  2. Try. Insight Timer (Meditation App)

For heart chakra clearing.

Questions and discussion in December 18th video.

  1. Try. Sat Kar Tar meditation videos.

    1. Video option #1 (YouTube)

    2. Video option #2 (YouTube)

3. Can you ask Holly if there is a good yoga or meditation to help with lower back pain? I know I hold a lot of my stress and anxiety in my back and right hip.

Question and discussion 1:00:53 the January 2018 Call #2.

  1. Do. Quick Hip Flow with Steph Snyder (YogaGlo)

  2. Do. Restore & Heal Mind, Body & Spirit with Steph Snyder (YogaGlo)

  3. Read. Healing Back Pain by Dr. Sarno (Book)

On MONEY.

1. Not sure what to do and this is the first time I have ever told ANYONE about this. So... Im super fucked. I’m over $80K in credit card debt. The $18,000 in savings that me and my husband have (I spent it). He doesn’t know. I even took out some personal loans last year to pay off my debt - and I did pay it. And racked most of it up again, and how have those additional loans to pay as well. I handle all our bills and finances. Luckily we have kept our individual checking accounts and we have our own credit cards. And he's not the sharpest tack in the shed about this stuff (in all kindness!). I have my own business and work from home. I’m almost to the point of not being able to control any of it anymore and starting to get scared. We own our cars, thank god and have a super low mortgage payment. The money I bring in goes all to bills and I end up buying groceries on my fucking Walmart credit card at 28% interest. He knows nothing about this. 

Question and discussion in September video.

  1. Read. Think and Grow Rich (Book)

2. I live with my boyfriend who has a very different view on money. He hordes his money. He doesn't buy anything non-essential and when he does he freaks out. He shames me when I buy anything non-essential. He saves SO much which makes me jealous, but it also makes me sad because I don't think it actually makes him happy. I have thought about hiding new purchases from him but lying makes me sick to my stomach. It reminds me of lying about drinking. He once told me that I couldn't buy a new purse so I retaliated by buying a new $400 dollar one. Putting limits on me DOES NOT WORK (as I am sure we all know...) Now I am caught between feeling guilty about having money and feeling guilty about spending money. How can I find balance with my need to let money flow and his constant criticism? I know I need to drive my own bus but how can I help him loosen his death grip on money? I want him to live. I want him to be happy.

  1. Listen. Loving What Is - Byron Katie (Audiobook)

ON MAKING IT HAPPEN.

1. I loved this month's lecture on making shit happen. My question is, what if I have no idea where to start? It's only been in the last two years (aligning when I seriously started thinking about not drinking) that I even started to realize I could stray from the "path" I felt was already in place > e.g., go to school, get a job, maybe grad school, get married, bla bla. But I have no idea what I want to do!! Even now, I am thinking about going to grad school, and I'm excited by the idea, but I can't tell if I truly *want* to go, or if it's just something I feel like I *should* be doing at this point in my life. Obviously only I can figure out what's best for me, but any thoughts/ideas on how to visualize what shit, exactly, I should be making happen?

Question asked and discussed 48 mins into the January 2018 Call #1.

  1. Try. Lucy Sheridan (Life Coach)

  2. Read. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte (Book)

  3. Read. The Great Work Of Your Life by Stephen Cope (Book)

  4. Try. Julie Santiago (Life Coach)

  5. Try. Jordan Bach (Life Coach)

on nutrition and lifestyle.

1. What is your opinion about using CBD (Cannabidiol) salves that have no psychoactive properties?

Question and discussion at 1:32:45 into the May video here.

  1. Read. CBD - Miracle Oil? Mary Vance (Blog)

2. I'm wondering if there is anything you can recommend for low energy. I am exhausted all the time.

Question and discussion at 46:00 into the June video here.

  1. Visit. Jolene Park's website

  2. Visit. The Kalish Institute website

  3. Visit. The Diet Cure website

  4. Listen. Mary Vance on HOME (Podcast)

3. My question is how to "avoid drowning" in all the choices with podcasts, meditations, teachers, books to read, retreats to go to when you are past the first months of sobriety? Stress is a huge trigger for me. I find it difficult to find the balance between exploring some of all the resources above to continue to create a new, alcohol free life and getting overwhelmed and just stressed out? (I was sober for a really long time and then I drank again. Got back on track really quick btw, by refusing to go into the self hate corner and posting in my HSS group and receiving massive support!) In retrospect I see (and read in my journal) that in the period before drinking I was feeling fed up and exhausted by trying to keep track of "all the shit" I should do. Running like a crazy rabbit from one place to another on the internet, buying books, taking hikes with podcasts in my ears etc...I lost the fun and excitement. Also I have a love/hate relationship with FB - I love my HSS-group but feel like FB takes away too much time. Tried FB group app but did not like it much. Any advice?

Question and discussion at 1:08: 50 into the July video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

On relationships.

1. What do you do when you feel out of sync with your partner? Right now I'm in a place (18 months sober) where I am feeling a lot of gratitude daily (for my home, my healthy kids, my safe neighborhood, everyday beauty, my garden & pets, money to take trips, a job with a short commute). Where my husband of 15 years is feeling & acting very negative and frustrated by thing at his job I think he should let go. He's feeling very "put upon". How do I support him without letting his moods and negativity annoy me or bring me down? I know he stood by me when I was in a bad place (daily drinking, work drama (often self created I'm sure), anxiety and panic, etc. I think I have codependency issues... I am extremely uncomfortable with conflict and other people being unhappy. Any tips/strategies?

  1. Loving What Is by Byron Katie (Audiobook)

2. Resources on creating and holding boundaries.

Question and discussion in November group coaching call.

  1. Try. Siri Gaitri Mantra on YogaGlo (Meditation)

  2. Read. Kundalini #4: Heal Yourself With This 11 Minute Chant (Blog + Meditation)

  3. Listen. Loving What Is by Byron Katie (Audiobook)

3. How do you all stand up for yourselves without anger towards the other person? Anyone able to do this successfully, especially in a professional environment? I feel like a doormat. I have always been this way. Too afraid of not being liked, accepted or connected. However, I end up hating myself because I can't bring myself to say what is on my mind and then feel worse about myself. Any guidance is most gratefully appreciated.

Question and discussion in November group coaching call.

  1. ead. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry (Book)

  2. Read. The Eightfold Path (Article)

4. I have a friend who is far down the spectrum of addiction. She is driving after drinking tons (20 shots) of liquor and is shifting between asking for help and thinking she's not a "rock bottom" yet. I have tried to talk about addiction on the spectrum (the idea that saved me) I have leant her Alan Carr & Annie Grace's books, gave her my sobriety bracelet, and helped her sign up for Annie Graces 30 day challenge and is on the waiting list for Hip Sobriety school. What else can I do? Is there something else I can say? I'm worried about her and other drivers on the road.

Question and discussion in November group coaching call.

1. Read. Beyond Addiction by Jeffrey Foote (Book)

5. Holly, can you talk about the way to do self-care when you're a grade A codependent who puts everyone else above themselves?

Question and discussion in December 18th group coaching call.

  1. Revisit. Boundaries Lecture - Month 9 (HIP AC.E.)

  2. Watch. My Unconventional Advice To Fit It All In (Marie Forleo)

On Shadow + Mirror Work.

1. I would love Holly to talk more about the mirror work. I get the part about trying to un-charge certain words/traits that trigger. But it seems weird to look in the mirror and call yourself things that are things you do not want to be?? Like the opposite of affirmations - would Louise Hay approve?

Question and discussion at 35:00 into the July video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

2. Doing the "shadow work" and I'm at a place where I feel stuck. I'm reading the book but I'm still struggling. I got feedback from people, I did up my lists of people, listed out likes, dislikes...I GET it. I get that I'm capable of any of all behaviors. I understand most behaviors I do or have done as well. I feel owning it isn't the hard part. Am I insecure, yup. Do I play it safe and not take a lot of risks, yup. Am I a bitch, sure can be sometimes! But it seems no matter how much I GET it, nothing seems to help my "I don't want to be around you" vibe if someone exhibits a behavior I don't like. Is it supposed to or is it ok to still feel that? To feel turned off or distant to people that might have trait or behavior you don't like? Or am I missing something somewhere?

Question and discussion at 42:38 into the July video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

3. How can I discern when someone's behaviors are generally toxic versus when someone's behaviors are an indicator of personal shadow work that needs to be done?

Question and discussion at 01:02:10 into the July video here.

  1. Answered. No additional resources mentioned.

4. This work is helping me in so many ways, but every time there is a change, and I get blamed even though many times it is a miscommunication, I beat myself up. I feel like more and more, i look at myself so much and try to figure out how to change. I love Holly's analogy of driving our own bus, but as a sensitive intuit, I take everything personally. What can I do to let things go in a quicker fashion and not take everything so personally, because I do believe everyone is in their own bus. What can I do to not torture myself? And I feel my volunteers and staff judge me all the time, so I always feel it's my fault...sound like a whiney child, but it's truly affecting me. For the first time in my life, I am feeling very depressed.

Question and discussion at 01:14:50 into the July video here.

  1. Do. Yogaglo Siri Gaitri Mantra.

5One of the things I understood from the book, is not to react strongly to what people say to me. In fact, I sort of do this already, if somebody says something rude or mean or I'm having a negative reaction I throw that emotion up in to my head and think about what's really going on. But I find that I have a fine line between not being reactive , and being indifferent. If I get upset I stop myself but it's more of a feeling of, oh fuck it, it doesn't matter, and I wind up feeling sort of negative or down. Sort of disconnected from that person and from everybody, rather than some sort of positive affirming feeling. Can you talk about this a little bit more?

  1. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

6. Can you offer some tip for how to stop the spiral of negative self talk/self doubt. The preventative work of meditation/mindfulness/speaking kindly to ourselves works much of the time but when I get caught in the loop of self deprecation it can be extremely difficult to reason my way out. Also, and perhaps the tips are the same, active ways to release or transcend when energy gets disturbed. I'm reading Untethered Soul and I love Singer's concept of releasing a disturbance immediately but I need something more concrete than "opening up" and "letting go" when something gets under my skin. Hope that makes sense!!

  1. Kundalini meditations

7. I’m not sure how to ask for more without feeling uncomfortable and ungrateful for what I have?

  1. The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles (Book)

  2. Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks (Book)

  3. I Am (Movie)

8. On how to work on moving beyond what other people think about you.

  1. The Question Holds The Lantern

  2. Mark Manson on HOME Podcast

 

9. What do you do when you are feeling the imposter or "not enough" syndrome?

Question and discussion in November group coaching call.

  1. Read. Bhagavad Gita - Translation by Sri Swami Sivananda (Book)

  2. Read. A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  3. Try. Kundalini Stretch Pose

  4. Try. Third Chakra Work

  5. Read. Why We Need To Do Away With Ego Deflation & Humility In Women's Recovery (Hip Sobriety Blog)

  6. Read. The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope

10. I have been grappling this month with shame. I was talking to my therapist this week after a long break, and she lovingly called me out on a slip up I made a few months back. I had glossed it over so slickly that I didn't ACTUALLY admit to her that I had used back then until she asked me directly. I feel ashamed of being a liar and for subtly trying to pull one over on her. I feel like I have something wrong with my whole character, and I just can't shake that feeling. Here I am, nearly a year in, and I feel more shame about this whole drinking thing, anger at anyone who knows this about me, blah blah blah, you get the picture. Did I miss the shame lecture? I don't even know where to go with this. And furthermore, I think this is also a family wound.

Question and discussion 15:47 mins into the January 2018 Call #2.

  1. Listen. Shame on HOME (Podcast)

  2. Listen. Mom Shame on HOME (Podcast)

  3. Read. Judgement Detox (Book)

  4. Read. A Course In Miracles (Book)

On Trauma & Therapy.

1. How do you go about finding a therapist?

  1. Coming soon: Reposted resources from Week 7

  2. Psychology Today