September Q&A

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

QUESTIONS:

I’ve been talking to a couple of other people in HSS and we are all around the four month mark. It’s a different stage of sobriety in that I’ve finished school, I’m very excited, and I’m solid in not drinking. I feel like the white knuckling is over but now I’m feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by the changes that I need to make. Life feels unmanageable and I can’t mute it with alcohol anymore. Do you have episodes or blogs that speak to after the euphoria? Feeling stuck and not knowing next steps. (17 mins)

    1. Listen. Relapse Part 2 Podcast by HOME (soundcloud)

    2. Read. Poop, ice cream, and spirit Holly. (Blog Post)

    3. Read. Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford (Book)

Can you talk about Urge Surfing a bit? Maybe the top 5 powerful techniques on how to do it? (27mins) 

  1. Read. The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones by Judson Brewer

  2. Try. Overcoming The Urge (Hip Sobriety Course)

  3. Mentioned. RASINS (Recognize, Allow, set aside the Story, Investigate what is happening in your body, Name the sensations, and Surf) More to come in the near future….

I just started grad school, I’m five months sober, I’m far from home, and I don’t know anyone where I live now, let alone anyone sober. I’m doing okay, but I’m straddling the line between a pity party and knowing that what I’m doing is hard. I feel myself getting judgey and can’t accept people where they’re at. I feel like I’m finding ways in which everyone is failing me. How do I move through this? (52 mins)

  1. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

  2. Read. 40 Days To Miracles by Melody Beattie (Book)

I know that you talk a lot about shifting mindsets and how important that is. Something coming up for me that I’m struggling with is to believe that we live in a benevolent universe. Have you ever had a belief or mindset that you wanted to shift but the universe gave you facts to the contrary? What did you do? (60 mins)

  1. Read. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates (Book)

August Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

QUESTIONS:

How do you experience joy? It’s there, it’s happening, and I’m really anxious. I am experiencing joy and a lot of good things are happening at once, and it makes me anxious and I wait for the other shoe to drop. (13 min)

  1. Read. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (Book)

  2. Try. Breath of Fire (Breathing Exercise)

  3. Try. Sitali Breath (Breathing Exercise)

  4. Try. Grounding (Practices)

Can you speak more about EFT/tapping and how you use it in your practice? (37 min)

  1. Try. EFT with Gabby Bernstein (video)

  2. Try. EFT (Website)

  3. Check Out. The Tapping Solution (Website)

I just joined Hip ACE and watched the first half of the month one lecture last night. I'm so happy you're talking about joy because it's something I've been thinking about a lot. I'm just past day 100, for the third time in two years. And once again, I'm sober, and I'm happy that I'm sober, but I'm not happy, if that makes sense. And now I'm feeling guilty about not being happy. I'M SOBER! I SHOULD BE OVERJOYED! But mostly, I feel lonely and melancholy. I moved to a new city six months ago and I've been struggling to do things with people, so I still haven't met new people. In the past, I spent most of my time drinking alone, so it's not like I got used to socializing through drinking and just lost that crutch of easy bonding. I just didn't care about not having local friends as much when I was at home drinking most nights. I guess my real question is how do you deal with social anxiety and get out and meet new people? And in the meantime, how do you find joy in low-key difficult situations like this? (41 min)

  1. Read. Before Happiness by Shawn Achor (Book)

  2. Read. Awakening Joy by James Baraz (Book) 

  3. Read. How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation in Recovery (Blog Post)

  4. Read. How to Try to Be Alone (Blog Post)

I’ve just been thinking a lot about other people’s faith in something higher, whether it’s god or spirituality and how I always butt heads with the idea. I listen to you talk and I look up to you so much, but I have so much trouble believing in anything. I know it’s not necessary and you don’t need to have that to be sober, and I feel strong in my sobriety. How do I get my foot in the door with believing in anything at all? I want to believe in a something but I have a hard time accepting that.  (50 min)

  1. Listen. The Future of Spirituality by Ken Wilber (Audiobook)

  2. Read. A Theory of Everything by Ken Wilber (Book)

How do you experience joy as opposed to contentment? I experience a lot of contentment, and I want to experience joy, i feel like i deserve joy, but I think I experience feelings less extremely than most people. which has always been great as far as negative emotions go -- i don't get scared easily or really experience overwhelm much at all, but i'm realizing that i don't experience joy either. I'm 100 days sober and I feel more mellow than numb now, but I still don't feel strongly. How do you tap into that higher level of feeling? (65 min)

  1. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)


July Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

QUESTIONS:

I am reading "Return to Love" right now, and it's really helping me shift my perspective.  There is a piece though that I am having much resistance to. The author says we should "forget everything about our past except it's beauty" - which is a lovely sounding phrase, but for those of us with trauma history, it's more loaded.  To me it feels like if I "forgot my past" that I am unsafe - because what if I put myself in a situation where that could occur again? I can also see that being the trauma talking, and that perhaps I know enough to not let that happen again.  Forgetting feels scary, remembering is painful. What is your perspective on this? (37 min)

  1. Read. Many Roads One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps by Charlotte Kasl (Book)

I’m a Spring 2017 alum and am 7 months sober.  YAY! Lots of stops and starts but it’s finally sticking.  It seems that I’m noticing a lot of slips back into drinking at the year + mark.  I don’t know if I’m just noticing these posts/stories more now that I’m getting closer to that point.  Why is that? Is it a bump in the road to look out for at that stage of sobriety? (45 min)

  1. Check Out: The Hourglass of Change (Post)

Today I was supposed to be in New Orleans for a cocktail convention, which I booked a long time ago, and I made the choice right before my flight to not go. There was no reason for me to go and struggle unnecessarily. I lost a lot of money and that hurts and it feels like I am putting a weird pressure on myself now because I took this big step to not put myself in a bad situation. I’m trying to not put pressure on myself, but it feels like I made this big commitment. (62 min) 

  1. Check Out: The Pin Project (Article)

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

June Q&A Call.

QUESTIONS:

Sobriety (9 months, yay!) has changed me in profoundly positive ways. Mostly it  has enabled me to stop bullshitting myself about places where I hurt, and actually take action to change those patterns. It has also shined a light on some not so great behaviors that I continue to work on.  Do you have advice for helping me to stop gossiping? I try to stay away from it, but I find myself talking some shit about certain people, and I catch myself in the moment, and am just grossed out that I Still Do This!  HALP. (10 min)

  1. Read. May Cause Miracles by Gabby Bernstein (Book)

I am looking for the golden book, I have decision fatigue. I find I am letting stuff creep in, and finding I am craving things I don’t even like, I was a vodka person and I am craving wine. My life situation is relentless and it will be for several weeks. Help! (19 min)

  1. Listen. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

  2. Listen. The Bodhisattva Way by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  3. Read. Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  4. Listen. Bodhisattva Mind by Pema Chodren (Talk)

  5. Listen.The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

I’m 1 year AF and weaning myself off of Zoloft. My regular dose was 100 mg, have been taking 50 mg for a month. I feel weepy and depressed, lots of feelings. I was sick of feeling numb but now feel very blurry and sad. Should I go back to the full dose? (31 min)

  1. Check out. Ellen Vora (Website)

  2. Check out. Kelly Brogan (Website)

My question is around transition and I am a nanny and it’s a natural transition and really hard since I have been with them for 8 years. Transitions were always a huge trigger for me. I am noticing a connection between the grief I am feeling and just knowing that a wave of grief is coming up. I don’t know if I am doing a great job preparing myself for the transition so I am looking for some advice or suggestions. (39 min)

  1. Try. Adi Shakti meditation (meditation)

  2. Read.40 Days To Miracles by Melody Beattie (Book)

Realizing that I don’t feel safe and why my nervous system is unregulated. With that awareness that I am not safe and anything can happen how to tell myself that I am safe. I want to change this belief although I am not sure it’s possible. (45 min)

  1. Try. Healing the Spirit by Steph Snyder (Glo)

  2. Try. EFT (Website)

  3. Try. Four Stroke Breath (Breath to Build Intuition) with Kia Miller (Glo)

I have a question about exhaustion. I have about 6 months and it seems easy in a way and stable around alcohol and I feel like I am growing alot and meeting myself. It had been thought about a few months where I am compensating for my exhaustion with coffee, etc. and it’s not working. I so much resistance to fatigue. It just kind of came in. Do you have any advice? (1 hr 5 min in)

  1. Read: Brain Body Diet: 40 Days to a Lean, Calm, Energized, and Happy Self by Sara Gottfried M.D

May Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

QUESTIONS:

Do you have any advice for social media addictive behaviors? When I first stopped drinking I was OBSESSED with HSS facebook group, your instagram, and a few other sober IGs. It helped me stop drinking - so obv served a purpose, but I feel like I’ve shifted into spending SO MUCH time consuming info online that it’s preventing me from creating something more meaningful. I feel like it’s getting in the way of me “having my own voice” too if that makes sense. My get-sober plan was like “just try to do everything Holly says” (which - again - effective!) but I feel like I’m trying to have a voice that isn’t mine. Hard to explain, awkward to feel. Any advice?  (7 min)

  1. Read: Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter (Book)

  2. Read: Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport (Book)

  3. Read: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport (Book)

  4. Try: A social media break

  5. Read: Not So Different from Drinking: Technology Addiction and Why I’m Adopting Digital Minimalism by Laura McKowen (Blog Post)

I got sober from alcohol a little over a year ago. I have spent this time mostly alone but it has been good for me. The issue is that I have had a spiritual revolution of sorts that is causing me some trouble. I don't get anyone anymore. EVERYONE I know seems so concerned with their roles and making themselves look good and doing the 'right' things and just can't take it. I know there are good people out there but I just can't. I 'should' be doing more to put myself out there to meet like minded souls but I just don't like/want to do that. I feel both desperate to be alone and desperate for connection. I don't know which is real. I will continue to go to Bridge club but even that is kind of uncomfortable for me so far. Is this normal? I am scared I wont ever make new friends / have a relationship but also I kinda don't care right now. I feel better than ever (although still have work to do) but I really don't have connection (except for with my therapist). If it matters, I do smoke pot still. (22 min)

  1. Read: Liz Gilbert on Loneliness

  2. Read: How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation in Sobriety (Blog Post)

I had something going back to the loneliness thread that I was thinking about. It was on my mind last week, but has felt better this week. I’m married and my husband and I have always drank together. I’m not doing that now and I know we’re supposed to drive our own bus but I want him to come along with me, and I don’t know how to help him. There has already been positive progress, but do you have thoughts on what’s helpful for other people that we want to stay close to through this stuff? (46 min)

  1. Try: A Lab

  2. Next Relationships Lab is on Friday May 24th at 7pm ET (Email to be sent Wednesday!)

  3. Work with a Therapist

  4. Listen: HOME Podcast with Megan Peters (Podcast)

I want to start by saying how deeply I respect everyone’s vulnerability and the work they’re doing. One of the things I’m learning with myself is how good I am at avoiding. I’m seeing it as a strength but I’m also seeing it as a purgatory because I’m not pushing myself into that deep place of vulnerability. I’m not missing that, but I want a fucking sledgehammer into my heart. Do you have any tricks? (52 min)

  1. Work with a Therapist

  2. Try: Body Work

  3. Try. EFT with Gabby Bernstein (video)

  4. Try. EFT (Website)

  5. Try. Kundalini

  6. Read. Trauma to Dharma by Azita Nahai (Book)

  7. Try: Restorative Yoga with Steph Snyder (Yoga Class)

Do you know of any programs like HSS that are good for the families and loved ones affected by addiction? My mother and husband both struggle with drinking and I would love to have some support in dealing with others. There's a whole range of emotions that come with being raised in a home with alcohol and still living in one and I really need the element of social support, but I'm a little intimidated by in-person groups. The HSS format has been such a huge help to me, I would love to find something similar. If not programs, any blogs, websites, etc. would be appreciated. (66 min)

  1. Check Out: We The Village

How do I tackle trying to recover from alcohol addiction and simultaneously deal with the sexual assault that I suffered which completely changes my world view and the dysfunctional path my life has taken as a result? Do I need to deal with one before the other? The trauma is so painful it triggers my desire to drink and numb and I don’t know if I can handle the pain and discomfort of getting sober and bringing up all those painful memories at the same time. Also looking for resources on the topic of trauma and alcohol abuse, thanks! (67 min)

  1. Read. Trauma to Dharma by Azita Nahai (Book)

  2. Read. Many Roads One Journey by Charlotte Kasl (Book)

  3. Read. Women Sex and Addiction by Charlotte Kasl (Book)

  4. final resource will be linked soon!

April Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

QUESTIONS:

I feel really good at 3.5 months sober which feels great. I’m doing the things: I’m exercising and meditating but lately I’ve felt really restless and stuck. So I’ve been listening to Pema’s Getting Unstuck which has been great, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something wrong. I’ve felt this way for about two weeks and I can’t pin it to something situational...I’m restless, bored and triggery and it’s been awhile since I’ve felt this way. I’m open to thoughts. (9 min)

  1. Listen. Getting Unstuck by Pema Chodron (Audio)

  2. Read.40 Days To Miracles by Melody Beattie (Book)

I’m wondering if you know of any type of peer-support for weight loss, in systems that don’t use body shaming and diet culture? A few groups I’ve been checking out have centered on diet culture and shame and shame and self loathing has no space for me in recovery after Tempest.  I would love to wait on this, as I am at 5 months sober, but I have health reasons to get started now. (18 min)

  1. Check Out or Work With. Christina Stokes (Website)

  2. Check Out. Dana Suchow (Website)

  3. Read. Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch (Book)

  4. Read.Isabel Foxen Duke (Blog)

I stopped drinking in July and am still not drinking but I am really pissed off all the time. I don’t want to drink, but I feel angry. I know sadness is under it. But I wondered if you or anyone else has suggestions on this? (27 min)

  1. Listen. Seane Corne on Home (Podcast)

  2. Try. Working with a Therapist

  3. Try. Sitali Breath

  4. Try. EFT with Gabby Bernstein (video)

  5. Try. EFT (Website)

  6. Read. How to Quickly Burn of Anger (Blog Post)

I'm a little over 4 months sober and I've noticed that my skin is breaking out a bunch. I've never had great skin, but I guess I expected it to at least get *a little better* when I cut alcohol! I reviewed the nutrition workbook and I didn't see anything specific about caring for skin (sorry if I missed it), and I am wondering if there are specific ways we can care for our skin to get it back to health in sobriety? Or are there specific things that were already suggested (supplements, detox plan, or a protocol) that could also help address this? Thank you! (34 min)

  1. Read. How to do an Elimination Diet by Mary Vance (Blog)

  2. Read. My Natural Skin Care Regime by Mary Vance (Blog)

  3. Read. Combat Acne with These 9 Tips by Mary Vance (Blog)

  4. Try. Natural Body Care

    1. Clove Oil

    2. Almond Oil

I recently ended quite a long term relationship that has been in the process of ending. We’re friends but I needed to step away. What I’m aware of in doing that, in addition to not drinking for 3 or 4 months, that I’m experiencing loneliness but it’s a whole new level of getting intimate with myself. It’s uncomfortable and what’s coming up as we’re all talking here is that there are times that because I feel lonely, it can seem as if I should be hanging out with people more but my intuition says “No”. I’m feeling guided to spending time with myself and reflect. This experience of loneliness is so much my frontier, the thing I didn’t want to feel. Do you have anything to say about that? (57 min)

  1. Read. The Gift of Loneliness (Blog)

  2. Read. Liz Gilbert on Loneliness (Quote)

My question for Holly is how did she arrive to the place where she just stop caring (or really, giving a fuck) what other people thought of her when she spoke up for herself (especially in the corporate world). I've been going back and reading through the Mantra Projects emails and I know this is something that finally clicked for her, that I struggle with and really want to get to a place that I speak up regardless of how people might take the truth or my perception / experience.  (66 min)

  1. Read. The Faces of Addiction. Mine. (Blog)

  2. Follow AOC on Instagram

I successfully sat thru a craving this week and it was a sugar craving but I think this applies to any craving (alcohol, food, smoking, or texting that person you shouldn’t). and I realized this after meditating during the craving: I was actually not physically hungry but emotionally hungry. So... if That's the case my question is HOW exactly do i feed that emotional need for myself? i couldn’t exactly pinpoint what the need was, but if I had to guess it would be either: love, connection, feeling understood or fulfillment That I was craving / needing. So even after not caving to the food (step 1) and meditating over it instead I feel like (step 2) would be determining exactly what that is and then 3) figure out how do you give that to yourself. What if it’s not available to feel love or understood in that moment and we can’t meet our own emotional needs....? Would love to hear your thoughts on how to both 1) determine then 2) give yourself exactly what you really need. Sometimes I feel like I have emotional needs that just can't be fulfilled. And that’s where all my craving and subsequent grief comes into play.  (71 min)

  1. Listen. The Bodhisattva Way by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  2. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  3. Read. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (Book)

Hi Holly! I was just wondering if Tempest is going to be a similar format as HSS...next month is the last month of ACE for me and kind of sad about it  and hoping Tempest would worth participating in as an alum. I apologize if this has been gone over already and congratulations on everything!. Thanks! (77 min)

  1. If you haven’t received The Loop or lab emails and would like to please email us at admin@hipsobriety.com

March Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

QUESTIONS:

I was revisiting the lecture on addiction and brain where you talk about the 4 models of addiction. I have a question on the self-medication model...it’s not clear to me why it’s a model on its own? And why would it be different from other models like the developmental model? (5:40 0mins in)

  1. Read. The Globalization of Addiction by Bruce Alexander (Book)

I really need advice or guidance on how to like myself, or fucking love myself I guess would be the thing right? Anyways I’m really far away from that concept and I thought getting sober was an answer, I thought ex-communicating with abusive ex was an answer, doing yoga... all the things. But at the end of the day, I don’t love myself...is this crucial to all of this happy sober life living? Can you speak to unconditional love as taught within HSS and what it means to you? (11:45 mins in)

  1. Read.The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford (Book)

On previous calls I’ve spoke a lot about not getting the love and support I needed from my family. They hated me when I was drinking and still hated me when I stopped drinking. I wanted to let you know it has actually happened and things are changing for me. The reason that is is because of time and letting it be. (23 min)

  1. Read. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (Book)

I want to start by thanking you guys very warmly as you changed my life and maybe even saved it. I love you and I'm forever grateful. I would like to hear you talk about self-sabotage. It is a very important part of mdy recovery since when all goes well, too well?, for some reasons that I couldn't figure out yet, I tend to relapse. So far, I could stay sober for weeks, months, years, but at some point I always felt the need, the urge, to screw everything up. It's like I'm not able to pursue on the path of well-being once I'm filled with beautiful emotions. Is it that I somehow feel that I don't deserve all this? Or is it simply because a destructive pattern is still living inside of me? Any insights would be very much appreciated. Thank you! (36:15 mins in)

  1. Read. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (Book)

  2. Try. A Journaling Exercise: Re-write your story

  3. Work with a Therapist

I feel funny asking this, it’s something I don’t really want to admit. The course has been amazing and I feel like I’ve changed so much already, which has been great, but I am still being sober for a week and then having a few drinks while out with my husband. The thing I feel bad about is that I don’t regret it and I can’t get to the point that Annie Grace wants me to be at where I don’t see drinking as fun or relaxing. Will that keep me from being successful? (44:30 mins in)

  1. Check Out: Edit Podcast (Podcast)

  2. Read. The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace (Book)

  3. Read. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte (Book)

  4. Read. The Easy Way To Control Alcohol by Allen Carr (Book)

  5. Read. Kick The Drink by Jason Vale (Book)

  6. Read. Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck (Book)

  7. Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter (Book)

Can you talk about manifesting and money? I know I transferred my compulsiveness from drugs/pills to alcohol to shopping (and a half million other things along the way, but those are the problematic ones). I also know I got sober because I was excited about what getting sober meant, I’m not there with getting out of debt, it still feels like a punishment and I still want to fill the void with something. I feel like this is my broken record problem and I feel at least as guilty and ashamed about it as I did about substance use. It’s clearly coming from the same root/void. I think a meditation would help me, the problem has got to be a subconscious thing. (Ps - I love you & this work has meant so much to me, I wish I could be on the call this month) (60 mins in)

  1. Listen. Money with Meadow DeVor HOME Podcast

  2. Try. A Money Inquiry (Worksheet)

  3. Try. A Kundalini Prosperity Meditation (Video)

  4. Try. So Darshan Chakra Kriya by Anne Novak (Youtube video)

FEBRUARY Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

QUESTIONS:

I've been AF for 120 days and I want to throat punch everyone. How do I work with the urge to "HULK SMASH" loved ones and strangers? Skillful means for these waves of visceral anger at this stage of sobriety? (5:08 mins in)

  1. Try. How To Quickly Burn Up Anger: Kundalini by Hip Sobriety (Blog)

  2. Try. Sitali breath (breath exercise)

  3. Try. Anger release meditation (PDF)

My sensations and emotions seem to last a lot longer than how long I think they should last. Do you know why this is? (9:55 mins in)

  1. Read. Becoming Bodhisattvas by Pema Chodron (Book)

I’m needing to balance. And I’m having a hard time balancing my moods with recovery, and it’s becoming more of a cycle, wondering if you have any insight? (17:20 mins in)

  1. Try. A Meditation Practice. (Suggestion)

  2. Read. We Can’t Live In the Light All the Time..But We Can Come Back Fast by Gabby Bernstein. (Blog)

  3. Listen. The Bodhisattva Way by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  4. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

I've been through HSS twice and did really well staying sober in 2017. Now however I'm back to drinking and finding it difficult to get any sober momentum. Any suggestions? Should I just go back to the lessons from the previous schools or would I benefit more from the changes in the current school structure and by sign up for a third round? (25:15 mins in)

  1. Suggestion. Bring this to Labs and/or your community- great discussion to have!

  2. Read. The Tipping Point by Laura McKowen (Blog)

  3. Read. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Book)

  4. Read. The Easy Way To Control Alcohol by Allen Carr (Book)

  5. Try. A Meditation Practice. (Suggestion)

Can you give a quick explanation in the difference between the Temper and the Tempest? Having trouble understanding the difference…(43:40mins in)

  1. Check Out. Town Hall Replay -Password:HSSALUMLOVE (all caps)

  2. Check Out. The Temper (Blog)

For the last 30 years I thought that I had been an extra mature 14 year old with an older “boyfriend”. I can’t hide from the truth anymore. I was sexually abused by a grown man for a year and I’m ready to heal from it. I am investigating counseling. In the meantime, can you recommend any books or resources to keep me on track? I’m tempted to continue telling myself to stop being so dramatic, that it wasn’t a big deal. But I know it was a big deal. It was awful and it wasn’t my fault. I want to feel validated. I’m so grateful to have a safe space to talk about this (even if I’m afraid to say it out loud). (45:23 mins in)

  1. Read. Many Roads One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps by Charlotte Kasl

  2. Read. Women, Sex and Addiction by Charlotte Kasl

  3. Read. Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly (book)

  4. Read. Trauma to Dharma by Azita Nahai (Book)

  5. Read. Good and Mad by Rebecca Traister (book)

  6. Read. The Mother of All Questions by Rebecca Solnit (Book)

  7. Read. Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit (Book)

Since I’ve been sober, I’ve been interested in other peoples stories, and their paths to sobriety. Some people still drink, or say they can moderate, this gave me inner confusion as to why I”m doing all this, especially as a grey area drinker. I think maybe they are lying to themselves, but it’s upsetting to me? (50:55 mins in)

  1. Mentioned. Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington (Book)

  2. Read. The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace (Book)

What is your advice on working with forgiveness? Now that I’ve gotten some sober time and some perspective, I’ve realized how angry I am at my parents for creating conditions that were neglectful, emotionally abusive, and gas lighting. This is not new information to me, but being more clear headed I am more righteously angry about it than I have ever been. I want to “forgive for me”. I have decent boundaries with them, and rarely see or speak to them, so it’s not about the interaction, it’s more about the inner work to make myself feel lighter. I had the idea to pray for the person I most hate for 90 days (a step-parent) I might try that. Any other thoughts/advice would be appreciated. (59:38 mins in)

  1. Read. A Course In Miracles by Marianne Williamson (book)

  2. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  3. Listen. Seane Corne on Home (Podcast)

  4. Read. Becoming Bodhisattvas by Pema Chodron (Book)

How Holly deals with insomnia: (01:16:03 mins in)

  1. Try. No caffeine past afternoon

  2. Try. 4 stroke breath meditation with Kia Miller (Glo)

  3. Try. Dimmer on computer

  4. Do. Drink Yogi bedtime tea

  5. Try. Keep room dark

  6. Try. Write down thoughts on paper, if they come to you while in bed.

  7. Try. Using ear plugs

  8. Try. Reading book if you can’t sleep

  9. Try. Magnesium Supplement

January Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

First 15 mins or so: Sarah + Megan discuss the future of alumni support

QUESTIONS:

Today I woke up feeling depressed, undeserving and filled with self-hatred. I was aware of these negative emotions so I texted a close friend as soon as I sat down at my desk. I also texted my partner to tell him I was feeling mentally unwell. I spent my day in a cubicle listening to Tony Robbins podcasts, trying to recenter and connect to my purpose. But the whole day has gone by and I still feel so fucking depressed. I feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. I've let all of my good habits slip -- my house is a mess, I haven't done laundry in weeks, all of my plants are dead. It feels like all I have is my sobriety --  are there any other go-to resources or practices you use on days you wake up feeling like a piece of shit for no reason? (21:50 mins in)

  1. Listen. The Bodhisattva Way by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  2. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  3. Read. 40 Days To Miracles by Melody Beattie (Book)

  4. Try. Radiate Health with Kia Miller on YogaGlo (website)

My question comes from dissatisfaction between this last school, and in the midst of Making Miracles in 40 days and what I am meant to do and I am dissatisfied with my job. Looking for ideas on how to stay present where you are at? (31:30 mins in)

  1. Read. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

I have been looking for books on confidence and self esteem and currently listening to the Power of Now. Part of my journey has been listening to Annie Grace and listening to my feelings, coming into myself and led to my husband divorcing me and I am too much for him and he is not in love with me anymore, and me excited about social justice and everything you talk about. I am looking for books on coming into my self and being ok with that. (39:27 mins in)

  1. Read. Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly (book)

  2. Read. Good and Mad by Rebecca Traister (book)

  3. Read. Many Roads One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps by Charlotte Kasl (Book)

  4. Read. The Mother of all Questions by Rebecca Solnit (Book)

  5. Read. At The Root of This Longing by Carol Lee Flinders (Book)

  6. Read. Becoming by Michelle Obama (Book)

I am a healthcare provider and I want to become more comfortable with sharing my story. I think that there are a lot of us in health and social professions who have struggled with addiction, and if WE can come out, I can really help to reduce the stigma. I feel maybe 75% comfortable with sharing my struggles with alcohol as that’s considered “normal” and a problem I feel like society says I’m allowed to have and work through. However, there can be some repercussions with my license if I talk about my history with drug abuse, even though it is a relatively distant part of my past before I became a healthcare worker. The stigma and actual potential consequences are real. I want to be authentic, but I feel like I can only publicly share a watered down story to protect my license. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I know that the licensure part is a legal question that probably only a lawyer could give me guidance about, but I would still really like to hear your thoughts on this predicament. (51:50 mins in)

  1. Feedback: Our best thought is to do what you are comfortable with. Repercussions vary by state, licensure and employer so it is case specific. It will take all of us working together and being open about these things to change the conversation, but we also owe it to ourselves to do so in arenas in which we feel comfortable. - HS Team

My question is ‘What is your take on 0% alcohol beer?’ It’s a no-no in AA but I believe it’s helpful to have some sober rebel material in the toolbox! Just to tame the savage beast once in a while. (55:15 min in)

  1. Read. Are You Sober If You Still Smoke Dank? (Hip Sobriety Article)

Hi everyone! I've been sober since June (yay) and am feeling good overall. I am REALLY struggling with sweets and the voice in my head, "cookies tonight and then nothing ever again..."...to the tune of 15 lbs and no end in sight. I know I have all the tools and I'm trying to use them, self care, working out, mantra project, etc...but I keep saying I'll binge this one last time. Last night after yoga I went to Whole foods and bought a box of cookies, chocolate milk (for recovery) and came home and ate the whole box, no dinner. I even tried to purge for the first time ever!!! I feel so out of control and honestly, I feel like it's my focus on recovery that's making this food hard. I feel like I have all the answers but I'm just looking for some encouragement as I feel like I'm starting from the beginning, even though I'm sober! (1 hour 6 mins in)

  1. Read. Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole (Book)

  2. Check Out. Mary Vance/ Candida Cleanse Program (Blog)

  3. Read. Isabel Foxen Duke (Blog)

  4. Revisit. The Nutrition Module from HSS (school website)

Do you have any advice for the depression I feel some days... I'm not missing work but that’s about all I'm capable of doing some days. Tears will start flowing with barely any notice. I'm not a prescription meds kind of person so I wont be seeking help with a doctor. I am doing yoga daily and a tiny bit of meditation.. I also walk a bit with my dog everyday so I'm getting a bit of exercise. I realize as I'm typing this that the only time I allowed myself to sit and do nothing pre sober days was when I was drinking. I've also told myself that I’m in mourning over my long time buddy alcohol. Just like quitting cigarettes, I miss my go to comfort. I'm having to actually look at my feelings and it just shuts me down.  (1 hour 12 min in)

  1. Listen. The Bodhisattva Way by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  2. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  3. Read. 40 Days To Miracles by Melody Beattie (Book)

  4. Read. Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  5. Read. When Things Fall Apart - by Pema Chodron (Book)

  6. Try. SAD light by sphere (amazon)

  7. Try. Cold showers in morning (hydrotherapy)

  8. Find. A Joy Practice (moving your body)

  9. Check Out. Talk space (website)

  10. Listen. Relapse Part 2 Podcast by HOME (soundcloud)

December Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

1. Could you please give us your best “lines” for helping people understand that sobriety is fabulous and empowering! I’m going to be seeing a lot of people this holiday that I’ll be coming out sober to. I know I don’t *need* to explain myself, but I want to feel confident in saying “this is a good thing! Don’t make this awkward, I’m not awkward about it!” (Ok I am still a little awkward about it) You just have some beautiful ways of saying these things and I’d love to hear them, I think it will help me talk to my family/friends about my sobriety.  (14:01 mins in)

  1. Remember practicing makes it feel more normal.

  2. Try. A Power Pose (Ted Talk)

2. I did the Yellow Bus meditation, and I thought i knew was going to come up, but something totally different came up. How often can you do this? (20:00 min in)

  1. Read. Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford (Book)

3. You can’t educate someone without their permission...is a quote I read today, how do you feel about it, what are your thoughts? (22:18 mins in)

  1. Read. A Course In Miracles by Marianne Williamson (book)

4. Where’s the sweater from? (52:32 mins in)

  1. Check Out. Front General Store in Dumbo, Brooklyn NY

5. I’m struggling with my brain saying “The 8 weeks is up. You did it. Now it’s okay to drink.’” I’m not tempted with the day to day, but my mind still wants to say ‘You can drink when you’re on vacation or when you go out for a couples dinner, etc.” I’ve very nervous that if I give into this, it will creep back in to the day to day. What is your advice for handling this internal dialogue? Did you deal with this? If so, how long did it last for and how did you respond to that voice? (53:29 min in)

  1. Watch. Gabby Bernstein on permission (video)

  2. Check Out. The Hour Glass of Change Drawing on Holly’s Instagram

6. I’m wondering if you could recommend retreats? (1hr 6mins in)

  1. Check Out. Recover 2.0 Retreats with Tommy Rosen & Kia Miller

  2. Check Out. She Recovers (website)

  3. Check Out. Beyond Addiction (Kundalini/Gabor Mate)

  4. Check Out. Esalen located in Big Sur (website)

  5. Check Out. Omega Institute on East Coast (website)

  6. Check Out. Kripalu on East Coast (website)

  7. Check Out. Mount Madonna in Santa Cruz (website)

  8. Check Out. Spirit Mountain with James Baraz (website)

  9. Check Out. Dhamma 10 day silent meditation retreats (free, pay at end) (website)

  10. Check Out. Gurmukh’s Work (website)

  11. Check Out. Dharma to Trauma with Azita Nahai (website)

7. I feel like I’m forgetting everything. I met this person and I worry that they think I’m lame and boring cause I’m sensitive and soft and don’t drink. I know they are her beliefs, but  now I’m looking at them and thinking, what do I do now? (1hr 12 min in)

  1. Listen. Loving What Is by Byron Katie (Audiobook)

  2. Read. A Course In Miracles by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  3. Read. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford (Book)

  4. Listen. Megan Watterson is episode 55 & 69 on HOME (Podcast)

8. I am having such trouble "not questioning the decision." How does one get to this place? I just can't seem to get there. I feel like I question EVERY decision I make, and always have. I know that I shouldn't fuck with alcohol, but I hate telling myself that I CAN'T do something. What can I do to bring myself to the point of surrender and acceptance? (1 hr 19 min in)

  1. 3 Steps (Awareness, Acceptance, Action)

  2. Read. The Tipping Point by Laura McKowen (Blog)

  3. Try. creating a vision board, or self visualization.

  4. Read The Easy Way to Control Alcohol  by Allen Carr (book)

  5. Read. Kick The Drink by Jason Vale (book)

  6. Read. Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck (book)

  7. Read. This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Annie Grace (Book)

  8. Mentioned. The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Book)

9. Hi Holly. I'm not sure where to start. My sobriety is going strong (1 year is 10 days away) and for that I so grateful to myself, you, and the whole Temper+Tempest+HSS family. The rest of my life is less than awesome right now. My father is suffering a major psychological breakdown (something I've been dealing with for the last year hand-in-hand with my quitting drinking). I will probably be spending Christmas in a psychiatric hospital with him because he had to be brought there after a violent episode a week ago. On top of and related to that, a whole lot of stuff has been coming to the surface as I've realized how much abusive and unsupportive shit I've put up with over the years. Yesterday, I decided that in order to protect myself from my emotionally abusive mother, that I need to cut off contact from her. I am also in the midst of a major falling out with my partner related to the aforementioned trauma and his consistency in falling short in supporting me. I think I'm writing to you to ask what tools you turn to when you feel like the universe is imploding and your heart is breaking over and over again. I need all I can get my hands on to ride this out. (1hr 26 min in)

  1. Listen: The Bodhisattva Way by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  2. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

  3. Read. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (Book)

  4. Try. Deepak and Oprah meditations - 21 days (website)

  5. Try. Writing Affirmations and posting everywhere

  6. Try. Moving your body/physical activity


November Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

1. I’ve recently moved home, and in with my parents, while I apply for masters in social work programs and save up some money.  Having a free place to live is rad but my moms drinking is hard to be around (something I anticipated). I’ve read codependent no more, I’ve let go of trying to change her ways, and it has offered some relief.  Now what plagues me is the judgement. I judge her drinking so harshly. I hear the pop of a cork or the glug of her glass and I feel my body tense and my eyes roll “here we go again, like clockwork”. I don’t want to drink with her I’m just fucking sick of her forgetting conversations we’ve had, or complaining about her health.  When I was getting sober I felt so much compassion and sadness for her and her problem drinking. Now I just feel mad. How do I live amongst it and let the anger go?! (12:17 mins in)

  1. Read. Integral Recovery (topic on Spiral Dynamics) by John Dupuy

  2. Read. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers (topic on Shadow Work) by Debbie Ford.

  3. Read. The Judgement Detox by Gabby Bernstein (Book)

  4. Read. 40 Days to Miracles by Melody Beattie (Book)

  5. Read. Adult Children of Alcoholics (Book)

2. I’m working on burning through emotions and dealing with PTSD  - when do you know it’s too dangerous to try the “burn through” method? (23:14 mins in)

  1. Read. Trauma to Dharma by Azita Nahai (Book)

  2. Read. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers (see above link).

3. With the holidays coming up I must venture out and go to parties. No one in my life knows about all of this work I’ve been doing. I know there’s lots of ways to decline a drink, but I’m dreading it. More than I’ve dreaded anything in a long time. (28 mins in)

  1. Visit. Overcoming the Urge (Hip Sobriety Course)

4. I have this all-consuming crush on someone that is unattainable for many reasons, and it feels like they're the only solution to this deep pain I'm in (I know this isn't true but it feels true). I literally cannot stop thinking about them and it's destroying me. This is a pattern of mine and I'm talking about it with my therapist, but wondering if you have any book or meditation recommendations? (43:45 mins)

  1. Read. Attached by Amir Levine (Book)

  2. Love Coach, Catherine Danieli, @lovecoachcatherine

  3. Read. Calling In The One (Book)

  4. Read. Leaving My Father’s House (Book)

  5. Read. A Course In Miracles (Chapter 8 or 18)

  6. Find a coach. Azita Nahai

5. Hey, hope to be there live but just in case...I am 686 days sober and rocking it! ( I mean my marriage is a wreck, my job is stressing me out, my anxiety is so crazy I started a new med) You know rocking it! ;) honestly I feel strong and I want to dive into something self study-ish. Any recommendations? Thinking May Cause Miracles. Any other suggestions? I am open to anything. Any thoughts? (1:06:40 in)

  1. Read. A Course In Miracles

  2. Read. The Bodhisattva Way

  3. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron

  4. Read. The Living Gita by Satchidananda Saraswati

  5. Read. Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn (Book)

  6. Read. 8 Step Recovery by Valerie Mason John (Book)

  7. Read. Refuge Recovery by Noah Levine (Book)

6. I’m officially trying to not drink again, after falling off when I was visiting home until a week or two ago. I have a couple weeks no alcohol but the anxiety and PTSD symptoms are so bad, especially at night. So needless to say (maybe) I want to drink, I don’t miss partying but miss the night cap to calm my nerves. Last school over the summer I had two months alcohol free and when I drank again I was so fucking relieved, I never regretted it because I wanted to drink because my anxiety was crushing me. So now I’m afraid to be totally alcohol free for that long because I’m scared of the crazy intense anxiety. I know I know... therapy, but can’t afford it. My question is, how do I get happy and excited and want to do this? I’m still practicing joy and the things but something’s not sticking. (1:11:30 in)

  1. Read. Trauma to Dharma by Azita Nahai (Book)

  2. Listen. The Craving Brain on HOME Podcast

  3. Read. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk (Book)

  4. Do. Restore and Heal Your Mind, Body, and Spirit with Stephanie Snyder (YogaGlo)

  5. Read. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Book)

  6. Read. The Easy Way To Control Alcohol by Allen Carr (Book)

  7. Try. Future Self Visualization

October Q&A Call.

Available to you is the audio format so you can download and listen on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

**Unfortunately, due to a glitch in our settings the video option is unavailable. The recording shows your lovely faces (for those who had cameras turned on) and we're not comfortable sharing/posting without permission. 

1. Anger has been an issue, I’ve had a hard time looking at it and expressing it. I often drink because of it therefore I struggle with knowing how to release this anger. I feel like it all builds up, and then I crave the drink. Can you talk about how to express anger and what practices you use to release it?

Question asked and answered 11 min into the call

  1. Read. Good and Mad by Rebecca Traister

  2. Try. How To Quickly Burn Up Anger by Hip Sobriety (Blog)

  3. Try. EFT The Tapping Solution (website & video)

2. How do you let go of the sadness, anger, and anxiety that comes with feeling like people just don’t like you, who you are, that you’ll never be enough or you’ll always be too much? I was raised to feel that way about myself and probably perpetuated it by choosing crappy mean friends and partners before Sobriety....I am dealing with it better every year and being a mother of a special needs kid is pretty isolating so in a way it has helped but some moments, some days it still cuts me to my core. That is a big trigger for why I used to drink. Anyway, thank you for being the badass truth telling woman and group that you are!

Question asked and answered 38 min into the call

  1. Read. How Do I Stop Judging Drinkers by Hip Sobriety (Blog)

3. I am interested in shifting my career toward the recovery field because I am so passionate about it, but am not sure where to start. I don't feel that I'd want to own my own business or be a coach, and financially going back to school for social work is not an option at this time. Those are the only career paths I really see - what are some other options?

Question asked and answered 46 min into the call

  1. Read. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

  2. Read. The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield

  3. Read. The Great Work Of Your Life by Stephen Cope (Book)

  4. Read. You’re A Bad Ass by Jen Sincero (Book)

  5. Read. You’re A Bad Ass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (Book)

  6. Do. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

  7. Read. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks (Book)

  8. Follow on IG/Check Out She Recovers with Dawn Nickel

  9. Follow on IG/Check Out Lara Frazier

4. I’m wondering what to do if we’re 1. not sober yet and 2. we don’t feel or see the good things in ourselves right now? I’m too nervous to talk but I’m visiting home and I’m staying with family who are mad at me because I spoke up on fucking Facebook about some kavanaugh bs. since I’ve been home I’ve wanted to yell and cry my sexual assault at them because they told me they lost respect and support for me for being anti trump and shit. I’m here now so I’m scared to even ask out loud. since I have I have done so much that reminds me I haven’t grown as much as I thought... I texted an ex I’ve had blocked since June, I wanted to be sober from him more than alcohol and still to this day a little.  But I texted him while I was here and he wanted to meet me and then he just ghosted on me and I’m a fucking rack and I want to do on this vacation that’s supposed to be happy with escrow and so emotional because everything feels so fucked up and I am trying to be sober while I’m here because I know that I cognitively
 can’t drink like I used to. but I’m just so sad at life. how do you handle this kind of sad. I talk to people here, I move around, I work and am working on me... but still, sad and disappointed at myself for still being where I am.

Question asked and answered 46 min into the call

  1. Read the Mantras and repeat them.

  2. Read. The Tipping Point by Laura McKowen (Blog)

  3. Read. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  4. Read. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (Book)

  5. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

SEPTEMBER Q&A CALL.

This is also available in an audio format so you can download and listen to on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

1. I wanted to get your take on spouse expectations and reactions. When you come from a place based on drinking and erratic moods, being unreliable and the things that go along with it. After not drinking for 6 months, there are a lot of expectations. It comes down to pressure, which I really reject. My initial reaction is I’m doing the best that I can. I almost feel like I needs to manage my spouse’s expectations.

Question asked and answered 8 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (Book)

  2. Listen. Megan Peters on HOME (Podcast)

  3. Try. Motivational Interviewing (via Integral Recovery)

2. I lost one of the most important people in my life last week. I’ve been out of control drinking, and while I’ve reached out, I give up and mostly feel like I don’t care. Is there something I can do, or one small practice, while I’m grieving?

Question asked and answered 14 mins into the call.

  1. Read.  A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  2. Read. A Course In Miracles (Book)

  3. Read. The Bhagavad Gita translation by Eknath Easwaran (Book)

  4. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

  5. Do. Siri Gaitri Mantra (Yogaglo Meditation)

  6. Do. Gabby Bernstein Meditation  (Meditations)

3. I understand pretty well how to wind down after a long day without wine, but I also used to use it to energize (to help get me through work and tasks I didn’t want to do). What can I do to replace it in that case?

Question asked and answered 19 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Holly Doesn’t Talk For 10 Days on HOME (Podcast)

  2. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

4. At the beginning of this year I moved to Montana with my boyfriend and a good friend/former co-worker to further our careers as farmers. A lot of it has been really great, but I knew that it was going to be hard to live and work together, especially because my friend is a problem drinker. He came in part under the pretense of wanting to lessen/stop his drinking but over time it has escalated. I don't want to give up on him. I don't want to lose him at work (he is an amazing assistant when he isn't hungover). I believe in him with all of my heart and I want to have hope that if I am patient, that things could turn around but at the same time I am worried that I am enabling him and not letting him "hit his rock bottom." It is difficult because I feel that if everyone gave up on me at the end of my drinking that I may not be where I am now. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Question asked and answered 25 mins into the call.

  1. Read. What To Do When Your Lobster Is Addicted by Laura McKowen (Article)

5. This question is about relationships and resilience. What I’ve noticed that every time I fall and get back up there’s always this learning lesson on resilience. You just keep marching on. Three months ago I decided to show up unapologetically in the dating world. I fell hard and fast and this person was sober. They were my bells and whistles and then three months later totally ghosted me. I’m too connected and my struggle is that I’m coming back through it. Two weeks ago I sat down and started doing your work again. I remembered where I was at three months ago and I’m rocked to my core. I’m lost and I feel like I don’t know how to find myself anymore. My heart hurts so bad and it’s so fucked up that relationships can you bring you to this core of utter despair and it feels like all of my tools are out the door. My question is: I recognize that there’s a faster resilience point to the healing process this time. How do I take what I learned and apply it to my sobriety?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 7 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)

August Q&A Call.

This is also available in an audio format so you can download and listen to on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

1. First, what is going on biologically with our bodies at like 8-9 months that makes us feel so BLAH? This comes up repeatedly. First, we realize we have to lay off sugar (which we may have been using through the early days) then we move on to larger self-care issues that we'd likely ignored for years (instead of just getting massages and Ekka boxes). Just wondering if you’ve read anything to explain what’s happening physically at this time? Second, I noticed that some of us have also gone out of the unicorn, high energy rainbow area of rebounding mentally and we feel like we are in a negative thinking loop. It's bad, self hatred just as rancid as the talk I was talking when I was drinking, I feel like everything I say is idiotic, mean, wrong - it's like paranoia almost. Maybe it's the social climate, never good enough, no one likes me. I also think it's disappointment in our bodies for some of us, I thought I'd lose weight. The ultimate answer I'm looking for is - what to expect next or what to do? I want to plan a trip again but I'm doing my dental work and it's a DRAG and I'm feeling just STUCK. I want a special 8-month module with a checklist of things that says “do this” (maybe the 4-Quadrant map revisited).

Question asked and answered 8 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Hormone Cure by Sara Gottfried (Book)

  2. Listen. Meggan Watterson on HOME (Podcast)

  3. Read. You’re A Badass by Jen Sincero (Book)

  4. Read. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer (Book)

  5. Read. Make Miracles In 40 Days by Melody Beattie (Book)

2. I’m trying to work on heart healing and forgiveness. I’ve gotten past forgiving myself for a lot of things, but there are some things in the past (over 10 years old) that I can’t let go of and forgive - do you have any advice or recommendations for how to practice this?

Question asked and answered 24 mins into the call.

  1. Do. Sat Kartar (Meditation)

  2. Do. Siri Gaitri mantra (Meditation)

  3. Listen. The Bodhisattva Mind by Pema Chodron (Audible)

  4. Listen. The Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audible)

3. What advice do you have for traveling and avoiding temptation and staying on my sobriety path?

Question asked and answered 30 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

4. Can you explain more about PAWs this post withdraw that can happen after we quit drinking. I have felt and heard others feeling the same way around the 7,8,9 months of Sobriety.

Question asked and answered 34 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. What Is PAWs by Annie Grace (Podcast)

5. What was your experience of hitting a year and how did you continue the momentum of that? Secondly, when you started meditating regularly outside of yoga class, was it scary for you to be quiet and look inward? I’m introspective and I process things a lot but there’s a difference between when I’m on the mat with my teacher vs. when I’m on my own.

Question asked and answered 39 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Alcohol Explained by William Porter (Book)

  2. Do. Headspace (Guided meditation app)

  3. Do. Insight Timer (Guided meditation app)

  4. Do. Deepak and Oprah (Guided meditation challenges)

6. I've been following your work for about two years now. I've been sober almost all of that time, and I am a member of HSS/ACE. Basically, I dig your message, and what you provide has helped me immensely - so thank you. In my exposure to your work, I don't think I've ever seen anything about having a conversation with someone else about their drinking. I'm sure it's showed up in comments before and I may have missed it. I guess my question is... If you had that conversation with someone, what might it look like and if you are against that type of conversation, why? I realize they will not like it. I would have hated it. But I also didn't have anyone who knew me well, who was doing self-inquiry work, who cared about my well-being, and who spoke directly to my behaviors. So. I don't know. Maybe at least my words will be taken with a certain amount of perspective. Or not. My main concern is offering support in a letter vs conversation. The recipient (my ex-partner of 8 years and) as of this coming Sunday, ex-roommate of 10 years(if that made your brain hurt, same), is notorious for flight or freeze under stress and I know they'll shut down if I try to initiate a conversation so I don't know if it's kind or cowardly to offer my thoughts in a letter?

Question asked and answered 49 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

7. Hi Holly, I wondered if you could talk a little bit about the idea of waiting at least a year before making any big changes to your life after becoming sober (relationships, career, moving, etc.) I know many programs and people encourage it, including the counselor I started seeing about a month ago. I'm not looking for a new relationship--the opposite, actually. I ended a relationship shortly before becoming sober and have really enjoyed getting to know me these past 4+ months. But things like career or moving (either to a new apartment in my city or to a new location altogether) have been popping into my head for a few months now. I can't tell if I am seriously ready for a change or am just becoming aware of the possibilities that are now opening up to me. Last month, I ALMOST applied for a job in D.C. that seemed like a really good fit, but decided not to because of the "1 year rule" and instantly felt a sense of calmness come over me. Easy, I didn't have to decide if I really WANTED the job because I'm not allowed to even apply for it right now. It was almost like I was using the "1 year rule" to get out of making any decisions right now, and is that the right thing for me to be doing?I just wondered if you felt similarly early in the experience and had any thoughts. Or, if you had any books, podcasts or other resources to recommend for people in a similar situation?

Question asked and answered 57 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

8. What do you do for random fun? When you just want to stop working for yourself - just for one day?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 3 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

9. I have a particular person that always triggers me or makes me feel triggered when I’m around them. Am I avoiding them/some stuff or is there something that I need to address?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 7 mins into the call.

  1. Try. The Tapping Solution Meditations with Nick Ortner (EFT)

10. Hi Holly, I'm coming up on 2.5 years of sobriety and I still have the occasional drinking nightmare. It is completely frazzling and unnerving every time. Do they ever completely go away? Do you have any tips, thoughts, suggestions, etc... on this?

Question asked and answered 1 hour and 14 mins into the call.

  1. Answered. No resources.

JULY Q&A CALL.

This is also available in an audio format (coming soon) so you can download and listen to on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

 

1. So I have been told it's possible I am a codependent by my therapist. Do you have any resources for this? If this was anxiety or stress, I could consult my HUGE self-help library, but this one is new to me. Thanks!

Question asked and answered 7 mins into the call.

  1. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

  2. Read. A Course In Miracles (book)

  3. Read. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

  4. Listen. Attached by Amir Levine

  5. Leaving My Father’s House by Marianna Woodman

2. I’m a little shy of 18 months sober and the last month or two, I am feeling extremely fatigued. I get plenty of sleep, and I don’t feel like it isn’t “good” sleep. I am not feeling stressed particularly, but I’m so tired! Otherwise, I feel physically very well - healthy, early 40s woman. Do you think this is unrelated to sobriety? Any good ideas for me?

Question asked and answered 17 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Hormone Cure by Sara Gottfried

  2. Try. Parsley Health (website)

3. I’m struggling with sugar both before and after dinner. I went to the doctor, went on a detox, and have been doing really well since then, but the sugar thing feels crazy. I know you mentioned one time something about amino acid therapy?

Question asked and answered 22 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Sugar Addiction In Sobriety: Why It Happens + 13 Tips How To Fix It (Hip Sobriety Article)

4. I feel like I have to be constantly working on my sobriety homework whether it’s watching videos, reading books and blogs and attending AA meetings and doing step work or I feel guilty. But I also feel overwhelmed. I feel I should be doing more to make sure I don’t slip back into my old patterns. I’m experiencing difficulty relaxing in a healthy way. I’m kind of a guilt driven and obsessive person and also an escapist person so I’ll watch six hours of Netflix while I clean the house because I can’t just do things in moderation. Does this get easier? So I’m feeling guilty because I haven’t finished my month four work and the month five video is out now.

Question asked and answered 28 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford

  2. Do. Bus Meditation within Dark Side of the Light Chasers

5. What are your go to tools for finding in person sober minded friends?

Question asked and answered 48 mins into the call.

  1. Read. 11 Ways To Make Friends In Sobriety (Hip Sobriety Article)

JUNE GROUP COACHING CALL.

This is also available in an audio format so you can download and listen to on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).

1. My question revolves around perfectionism and discipline. I’m listening to the HOME podcast and Q&As. One woman was discussing her long list of to-dos in a spreadsheet and you very wisely said “...” I’m worried that I’m not seeing the forest through the trees and like I’m running around not getting anything done.

Asked and answered 14 mins into the call.

  1. “Perfectionism strangles us, commitment sustains us.”

2. The issue of insulin resistance post-alcohol and sugar is really something! I am not dropping weight like I had hoped and it's really depressing as well.  I am 51. Two issues of depression despite now 6-months of solid AF. DHEA has helped a bit, b/c I was in the sluggos but it's really powerful stuff and I found I can only take like tiny amounts at a time. Wanted to share in case anyone is having the same problem?

Asked and answered 23 mins into the call.

  1. Review Week 5 in HSS.

  2. Read. The Diet Cure by Julia Ross

  3. Read. The Hormone Cure by Sara Gottfried

  4. Read. The Kalish Method by Dr. Daniel Kalish

  5. Read. The Candida Cure by Ann Boroch

3. My question is about not wanting to be around people. I feel like i’ve been around too many people this weekend and I don’t know how to say no. It worries me that I need so much time alone.

Asked and answered 29 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

4. I am 80 days AF and feeling awesome. The occasional craving but more than anything I feel the most "me" I have ever felt. It makes me cry sometimes because I'm realizing what an awesome, deep, loving person I am and how alcohol was disconnecting me from that. Thankful for you and this community for showing me that. My issue is with my mother. As my yoga teacher says, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother!". My mom drinks, a lot. She never drives drunk or even acts erratically, but she has at least 6 large glasses of Pinot Grigio every night and gets really hazy and distant and cannot engage with the rest of us fully. For years this pissed me off. I thought, "the rest of us can drink and fucking stay awake and finish our sentences, why doesn't she know her limits". Now, thank goodness for Hip Sobriety School, I see her through totally new eyes. I am overwhelmed with compassion and sadness in these moments, rather than rage, because I know there must be deep disconnection and pain somewhere in there. It's a way more honest place to view her from, but also more painful. As I have gotten sober, she and I have had brief moments of skirting around the topic of her drinking. She'll jokingly say things to her friends like, "She stopped drinking after watching us all these years". I've never said this to her, but she also isn't wrong. I want to offer her compassion, support and love. But my family also doesn't ever talk about tough emotions or difficult things. We'll maybe talk about stress or anger, but never sadness or loneliness. I know it isn't my job to save her, but I also feel this deep yearning to be seen by her and let her know that I see her. How can I approach this without making her feel attacked?

Asked and answered 36 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Loving What Is by Byron Katie (Audiobook)

  2. Read. On The Other Side of Chaos by Ellen Van Vetchen

5. I come from an eating disordered background...what did I do to get out of the obsessive mind stuff?

Asked and answered 44 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones by Judson Brewer

  2. Try.

6. I have some people in my life who are talking about other people’s eating habits and they’re talking about my weight and how it’s changed since I got sober. How did you navigate getting through the disordered eating after sobriety?

Asked and answered 48 mins into the call

  1. Read. Holly’s three part series on eating disorders.

  2. Listen. Isabel Foxen Duke on HOME Podcast

  3. Read. Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen

  4. Try. The Diet Cure protocol for bulimia (see link above)

7. How do those of us women who are white reconcile any sort of privilege assigned to us? I feel like we have no voice anymore, that somehow we are marginalized. Many of us have never been handed "anything", we've worked our asses off for what we have, we are far from victims, we are survivors in every sense. Yet, now because our skin is white we somehow have privilege? I want to walk away and say whatever, but I love and respect you with all my heart.

Asked and answered 1:02:00 into the call.

  1. Read. White Privilege: Unpacking The Invisible Knapsack (Essay)

  2. Listen. Unpacking White Feminism with Rachel Cargle & Kate Northrup (Podcast)

  3. Read. Dear White Women by Rachel Cargle (eBook)

  4. Read. Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge (Book)

MAY GROUP COACHING CALL.

1. Hi Holly, I have this topic on my mind for several weeks but I did not know how to phrase a concise question, so I did not ask so far. However, now I will try. The topic of rejection really speaks to me, several podcasts, the being in the burn lecture, etc. There is a phrase by Julie Santiago when you met her in a coffee shop, paraphrasing "Oh you couldn't feel shitty enough about yourself, so you needed a guy to do that job for you." That speaks to me a lot. Also you and Laura talk about "daddy issues" in a podcast. So, as I am still struggling with the question, my best question is "what helped you in moving further on the guy topic?" not obsessing over a guy, not running after a guy who treats you like shit. Of course, rationally I know a lot. I and my friends see patterns that I go for guys who are not available. A guy who really is a jerk, I still want his attention, etc... What is your advice in not repeating unhealthy patterns. Thanks! :-

Question asked and answered 5 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Rejection on HOME (Podcast)

  2. Listen. Dating (1 of 2) on HOME (Podcast)

  3. Listen. Dating (2 of 2) on HOME (Podcast)

  4. Read. Attached by Amir Levine (Book)

  5. Read. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson (Book)

  6. Read. A Course In Miracles (Book)

2. I hit 6 months on Mother’s Day. My question is about comparison. I admire you and many people in other sobriety circles so much. I really want to start my own recovery business, but I still have that voice that says “look at what Holly was doing at 6 months.” When I see my other friends in recovery working their faces off, I just feel like a sloth. I feel like we as women are bred to always compare ourselves to one another. How do we get out of this comparison trap and look at our idols and not feel like poop?

Question asked and answered 20 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Lost Connections (“Sympathetic Joy” practice) by Johann Hari (Book)

3. I'm just focusing on myself: on not drinking, on getting back into healthy habits, on reframing my beliefs I hold about myself. I feel like working on ME right now is the best thing that I can do and also, I just don't really want to be around my parents right now either.  I'm not sure how to deal with my Mum, in a way that won't hurt her feelings. Would appreciate your thoughts on how to deal with this.

Question asked and answered 33 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (Book)

4. What if every day turns into an “I give myself a break day?”

Question asked and answered 43 mins into the call.

  1. Mentioned. Your Brain At Work by David Rock (Book)

April Group Coaching call.

1. I realized I’ve been doing well in all areas except for releasing. I want to write again. I used to journal and over the years I tainted the practice with writing about my drinking habits. I haven’t come back to it after losing my interest in the same story. How do I fall in love with writing again?

Question asked and answered around 5 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Carry On Warrior by Glennon Doyle (Book)

  2. Read. How To Start A Recovery Blog (Hip Sobriety Blog)

2. I don’t feel motivated anymore. I’m doing what I have to do, I feel like I should be doing more, and I don’t know if it’s part of the cycle, but I’m not really taking care of myself the way I think I should be. I feel like I’m going through the motions. Is this normal?

Question asked and answered around  mins into the call.

  1. Read. Rise Sister Rise by Rebecca Campbell (Book)

3. I want to quit my job...still. I’ve been there for 24 years. I can quit financially speaking, but I’m realizing that I’m so scared to do it. I think it’s a lot like drinking. I hid behind it. It’s this protective layer that I’ve always had. When I quit, it’s just me. I don’t have the alcohol. I don’t have the job and that’s just terrifying. What the hell?

Question asked and answered around 23 mins into the call.

  1. Watch. I Am (Documentary)

4. So I took my last drink November 12 the 2017 and I have been lucky enough to continue to be AF as I don't feel like we get to pick our "birth story" of recovery. My question is, if we are not so so focused on "quitting", what and where should we place our attention for continued growth in our journey, which I feel is never over.

Question asked and answered around 27 mins into the call.

  1. Watch. I Am (Documentary)

  2. Read. The Great Work Of Your Life by Stephen Cope (Book)

  3. Read. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

  4. Watch. The Flight of the Hummingbird (Elizabeth Gilbert Lecture

5. After drinking again at New Years (on day 99 of no drinking), I am now getting myself back on track and giving sobriety another go. I'll be day 22 on the day of our coaching call, so early days. This is what I'm struggling with right now: when it comes to the idea of living a life of sobriety, I either feel quite excited about it OR I'm down in the dumps about it. One day I'm up and feeling like I'm totally making the right decision (I know I totally am), but then the next day, I feel depressed and as though I'm just never ever going to have fun again. In all honesty, a lot of my drinking is done at home alone (so not exactly "fun") and I'm not really that into clubbing anymore anyways, but I still feel on some level that I'm going to be missing out on something without drinking. I'm not really sure what my question is, except that I'd appreciate any thoughts you have about this/strategies that I can focus on to reframe my thinking about sobriety. I want to be sober and I want to enjoy my life, but HOW?!

Question asked and answered around 54 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. This Naked Mind Podcast

  2. Read. The Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allan Carr (Book)

  3. Read. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Book)

  4. Read. Kick The Drink by Jason Vale (Book)

6. I’ve been working on money things and I read Jen Sincero’s book and it’s great, but I’m wondering if I went too all in and I’ll end up broke? I’m doing the 29-day giving challenge and I’m just worried that I’m going too far.

Question asked and answered around 43 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Money Sobriety with Meadow DeVor on HOME Podcast

  2. Read. You’re A BadAss At Making Money by Jen Sincero (Book)

March group coaching call.

1. Try. Evening Meditation with Kia Miller (YogaGlo)

2. I’m wondering if anyone can relate or tell me I’m normal... I seem to be having the majority of symptoms associated with PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) again after being sober for almost 7 months.Depression, anxiety, difficulty staying asleep, severe fatigue, mood changes, difficulty concentrating, severe cravings. I expected that I would be feeling pretty great by now, but I feel VERY similar to the very early days of sobriety.

Question and discussion 7:30 mins into the call.

  1. Read. Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson.

  2. Read. Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

2. How do I make the things I don’t want to do fun?

Question and discussion 54:00 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield

  2. Read. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

February Group Coaching Calls.

Saturday Call, Both Generations

1. I’ve been working on self-compassion and also working on letting go of some of my stories and staying in victim mode. I worry that my work on self-compassion keeps me stuck in victim mode.

Question and discussion 8:00 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Judgement Detox by Gabby Bernstein

  2. Read. The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson

2. I’ve been in that exhaustion phase the last couple of weeks. In and out. One week I feel good then I feel terrible. Bloat, fatigue, headache ( I don’t get headaches). How long does this last for the average person and brain fog?  I get like light-headed. L-Glutamine doesn’t seem to help in the afternoon. Looking at HSS and Mary Vance and cutting out coffee. I LOVE coffee but I think it is fucking with my digestive. Which leads to laxatives which leads to more fatigue. So I am guessing it is a systemic situation and I’m healing but it is hard to do all the things right now. Is this normal and when will it readjust ? I started working again, so I am hitting a wall trying to find balance - in what seems to be a rapidly changing world.  This is its own skill.  I just want coffee but I am tired of the leaky gut.

Question and discussion 13:00 mins into the call.

  1. Try. Parsley Health

  2. Read. Week 5 HSS Workbook

  3. Try. Coaching with Mary Vance

3. I feel the pressure to be a happy fun person makes me want to drink. I am obsessed with psychology and personal growth.  But I take myself so seriously sometimes.  How can I be all the shades of me?  How can I be authentic and still "blow off steam?"  How can others learn to love all the parts of me?

Question and discussion 25:00 mins into the call.

  1. Read. The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson

  2. Read. May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein

  3. Listen. Loving What Is by Byron Katie

  4. Read. The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers by Debbie Forde

4. Can you talk about money, remind us of the work you have done around abundance and financial sobriety?

Question and discussion 52:00 mins into the call.

  1. Read. You’re A Badass by Jen Sincero

  2. Read. You're A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

  3. Read. The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles

  4. Try the mantra: "Money loves me and it comes to me easily."

Monday Group Coaching Call.

1. I feel like the shine has come off my sobriety a little bit. I'm 295 days today and I guess I just thought I would be further into the Better Life that I was promised would come with sobriety. I guess I don't even necessarily feel like going back to drinking, I'm just having a little bit of a "is this really all there is?" moment. It doesn't help that I'm having a resurgence of my anxiety, which I thought I was done with since quitting. I'm assuming that these less-shiny moments are totally normal and to be expected, are just a part of life. I guess my question is , what do you do to get back to the shiny place? What is a good reboot or kickstart or do I just have to ride it out? I've recommitted to my daily yoga practice and even there I just feel disconnected - from my breath, from the happy yoga magic. I guess that's what I'm really feeling right now - disconnected. How do I get back?

Question and discussion at 1:04:45 into the call.

  1. Read. The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson

January Group Coaching Calls.

Saturday, Both Generations.

1. Hi Holly. I have been grappling this month with shame. I was talking to my therapist this week after a long break, and she lovingly called me out on a slip up I made a few months back. I had glossed it over so slickly that I didn't ACTUALLY admit to her that I had used back then until she asked me directly. I feel ashamed of being a liar and for subtly trying to pull one over on her. I feel like I have something wrong with my whole character, and I just can't shake that feeling. Here I am, nearly a year in, and I feel more shame about this whole drinking thing, anger at anyone who knows this about me, blah blah blah, you get the picture. Did I miss the shame lecture? I don't even know where to go with this. And furthermore, I think this is also a family wound.

Question and discussion 15:47 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Shame on HOME (Podcast)

  2. Listen. Mom Shame on HOME (Podcast)

  3. Read. Judgement Detox (Book)

  4. Read. A Course In Miracles (Book)

2. Do you still do The Work by Bryon Katie and what was your experience with it?

Question and discussion 42:00 mins into the call.

  1. Listen. Loving What Is by Byron Katie (Audiobook)

3. My question has to do with the brain. I was thinking about “where it clicks” - i.e.  in Allen Carr’s book and This Naked Mind where they talk about the subconscious shifting of our thinking. How does the click work in the brain? How do we do it?

Question and discussion 50:20 into the call

  1. Watch. Pleasure Unwoven (Video)

4. Can you ask Holly if there is a good yoga or meditation to help with lower back pain? I know I hold a lot of my stress and anxiety in my back and right hip.

Question and discussion 1:00:53 into the cal

  1. Do. Quick Hip Flow with Steph Snyder (YogaGlo)

  2. Do. Restore & Heal Mind, Body & Spirit with Steph Snyder (YogaGlo)

  3. Read. Healing Back Pain by Dr. Sarno (Book)

5. I'm not having cravings anymore, but during my drinking I was really addicted to the chaos that ran in my life. Now I've got some time in, I'm feeling calm, I meditate, but I have some fear around moving forward with my life. I went to enroll in a course and it's kept me stuck because I'm afraid of moving back into that chaos. When I went to enroll, I actually wanted to drink.

Question and discussion 1:01:49 into the cal

  1. Do. The meditation in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford (Book)

Monday, Group Coaching Call.

1. When I had kids the drinking went way up. When I drank, I felt like I was a good mom. When I stopped, I thought I would be more present (which I am), but I’m also feeling stuck and quick to anger or quick to judge.

Question and discussion 02:10 into the call.

  1. Listen. Megan Peters on HOME Podcast (Podcast)

  2. Listen. The Bubble Hour with Ann Downett Johnston (Podcast)

2. I feel like this is THE thing I keep talking about on these calls, but it just keeps coming up. The ongoing saga with my family. I know there’s nothing I can do for my brother. My parents are literally falling apart. I know there’s nothing I CAN do, but I don’t know what to do with it and I just need to get it out. It brings up my issues with my own path to sobriety. My own path has been ugly and rocky. Traditional paths to recovery in this country are bullshit and I’m having a hard time watching my brother go through this and watching my parents getting on board with it. I’m pissed at recovery.

Question and discussion at 10:15 into the call.

  1. Read. The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsch (Book)

  2. Listen. Pema Chödrön and Alice Walker in Conversation: On the Meaning of Suffering and the Mystery of Joy (Audiobook)

3. I recently finished reading The Body Keeps The Score (it’s like a textbook). The last two years I have been in pain daily (neck and shoulders). I feel like my stuck is a physical, energetic stuck. I’ve gone to doctors, orthopedic surgeons, acupuncturists, and for massages. Doctors think it’s psychosomatic. I know it coincides with my stress levels. In part, it’s caused by trying to find that root issue. I’ve been putting in the time and effort, but I haven’t been getting any results and I’m getting frustrated.

Question and discussion at 31:00 into the call.

  1. Read. Week 7 Hip Sobriety Workbook (for Somatic Therapy recommendations).

  2. Try. Restore and Heal Body, Mind, and Spirit with Stephanie Snyder (YogaGlo)

  3. Try. Hanna Somatics (Practitioners)

  4. Read. Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno (Book)

4. One of my main underlying issues was always codependency. I am having the craziest anticipatory anxiety over issues that aren’t personal to other people, but I feel like they are. I thought after 9 months of drinking, I would really like myself. I’m not liking the anger. I’m not loving how I’m reacting and who I am. I’m not meeting my expectations of  “I should be so enlightened 9 months in” and really I’m just annoyed. I feel like with alcohol I found others tolerable and without I’m annoyed.

Question and discussion at 46:00 into the call.

  1. Read. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford (Book)

  2. Read. Poop, Ice Cream, and Spirit Holly (Hip Sobriety Blog Post)

 

December group coaching calls.

Saturday, Bonus, Group Coaching Call.

SATURDAY, December 23rd, Questions & Mentioned Resources.

1. It's a special kind of hell at times to be a lower-bottom or "grey area drinker as Jolene Park calls it on her new TedTalk.  What is the best way not to fucking lie to ourselves?  It happened to me the other day and I was astounded by the seductiveness of alcohol's voice.

  1. Read. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Book)

  2. Read. Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler (Book)

December Coaching call questions & mentioned resources.

1. I just watched the Annie Grace module, and have read her book. I am now starting Awakening Joy. I am VERY early into sobriety, less than 20 days, and am working on being present, and moving through this experience mindfully. What worries me, is, how much more easily I become irritated by other people now, and how I can hardly stand to be in social situations. All I want to do these days, outside of work, is be alone. I have been a semi-heavy drinker since I was a teenager, and worry that I have permanently damaged my capacity to enjoy other people in an alcohol-free capacity. I wonder if it is healthy to indulge in this solitude that I am craving, or if that will somehow lock in this need in a negative way?

  1. Read. The Gift of Loneliness (Hip Sobriety Blog)

  2. Read. How To Deal With Loneliness & Isolation In Recovery (Hip Sobriety Blog)

2. On working through depression in early sobriety.

  1. Read. May Cause Miracles by Gabby Bernstein (Book)

    • Work. Day 1 - Day 7.

3. Tools to work through trauma and regulate the nervous system.

  1. Try. Tattva Balancer (Meditation)

  2. Try. Tapping with Gabby Bernstein (EFT)

  3. Try. Tapping with Nick Ortner (EFT)

4. So I’m really struggling with depression right now and I don’t think I realized it until we started talking about joy. I realized I’m really not feeling it. I see it and can find it but I’m just really flat.  Not to mention I can’t remember anything, my brain is foggy, and my body aches constantly. My dr. wants to add meds but I’m reluctant. do you have a favorite meditation or any other tricks in an effort to throw the book at it?  I’ve thought of working with Mary too, but I’m not sure I have it in me to address food yet.

  1. Try. Allowance Meditation by Gabby Bernstein (Meditation)

  2. Try. Awaken Your Ten Bodies (Kundalini Kriya)

  3. Try. Heart and soul (Kundalini Kriya)

  4. Try. Radiate Health (Kundalini Kriya)

  5. Listen. Three Commitments by Pema Chodron (Audiobook)