As per usual I've been at a loss of what to talk about for this month. I keep coming back to the concept of becoming a container (discussed in the lecture), but that isn't necessarily its own lecture. And then the other night, watching Star Wars by myself on New Years Day (heaven), I heard a trailer for a movie (discussed in the lecture as well) which brought me to tears, which ended with the words "You've been chosen for this great work."
This lecture is late not just because things are busy like normal busy but because things are Busy. On December 22nd I closed a significant round of financing from outside investors (something I'd been working on since May this year but really since May 2014); I hired two more full time employees, and we launch the largest school we've had to date tomorrow. When I say things are busy, I mean that I have never had so much pressure, work, or responsibility in my entire life, and it's only going to get crazier. The thing that I keep coming back to as I step into this role that I've created for myself and this bigness that I've been hurtling towards - the thing that has kept me sane - is that I feel like I've been chosen to do this thing, as in, I feel like whatever it is I'm working towards and doing is by design, something I was born to do, something that is required of me. And the thought that stabilizes that thought is: because it's required of me, it also means I'm fully supported in it.
There is a scene in the Bhagavad Gita (which I hope hope hope all of you read at least once) where Arjuna, the protagonist, finds himself in his chariot (driven by Krishna, an incarnation of God) in the middle of a battle field. He observes the work ahead of him - leading a war against members of his own family (who were fucking evil) - and he claims he cannot do it. He falls down in the middle of the battle field because he just can't even. The entire Gita is about this moment in Arjuna's life where turns from the task that was divinely purposed for him; it's a conversation with him and Krishna about how we face the work we are called to do that we feel we cannot.
I've read the Bhagavad Gita many times in the last four years. And: I've fallen down in the middle of my own battlefield at least a few hundred times in the last four years. The words are usually the same, some version of I can't do this/fuck you and this thing/find someone else/wrong person/I don't want this/I want something else/if you're asking me to do this could you at least make sure I'm getting laid you asshole.
It's not just about doing "this" work, building this thing. It's about all the things. It's about sobriety and money and relationships and all the hard shit we confront as we confront ourselves. All of the things I am tasked with, that I feel were - just like this company and this role - divinely purposed for me.
As it is with you. Everything you are confronting, everything that would have you stand with your fists to the sky (or the rock or the tree or whatever it is), everything you wish wasn't yours or that you feel is impossible: it was meant for you, designed for you.
This month's lecture is kind of about all that. I titled it Making It Happen and I did that because as it were, one of those things I've fallen down on the battlefield over, one of the things I've felt tasked to do, HAPPENED. And so I thought I should talk about that.
I love you.
This is also available in an audio format so you can download and listen to on your MP3 player (iTunes, etc.).
This month we are doing the Caliber of Life Meditation. This is the meditation I did to overcome panic attacks and anxiety. It's an incredibly hard meditation, you have to hold your breath out for 15 seconds and it *will* feel like you are going to die. It's in those moments that you feel like you just fucking can't, where you are gasping for air and thinking that your body is going to completely come undone, that you reassert your conviction and steadfastness. It gives you the opportunity to stay with something deeply uncomfortable and persevere. You only have to do the meditation for 3 minutes to reap the benefits. A video tutorial is here.
This month the recommended book is The Great Work Of Your Life by Stephen Cope.
Group Coaching Call.
<To be posted after call occurs.>