Okay! So this month we're talking about Getting Unstuck - again this was based on the survey results from you guys, it was the second most requested topic. At first, I was like, sweet; this will be fun. And then I realized I had no idea what stuck meant to you guys. No problem, because I can just ask you, right? And so I did that, and then 50 comments later, I was more confused than I was to begin with. Then what happened after that, you see, was there were so many fucking inputs that the gears in my brain started to get jammed, and I freaked out, and I got stuck. All of the sudden, there were so many directions that I could go! And there were so many different problems to solve. Also, I didn't want to just stay in the sticky boring parts, and talk about just being stuck - I wanted to tell you about VISION and MANIFESTING! and how to get everything you've ever wanted right now. I also wanted to end world hunger. And then I started feeling like, no way I could do this. It's just too much, I don't know where to start, and I will never be able to pull it off and oh my God, I'm going to totally fail this entire thing so hard. So I just kept thinking about it, and not doing it, and it grew bigger and worse and I was so stuck I bit all the skin off my nailbeds and finished watching the entire season of Silicon Valley and went to like 100 yoga classes and balanced my checkbook 10 times and even, like, called my mom to talk about her garden.
Sounds familiar, right? Ironic, RIGHT?
There's something that happens to me when I go into this place (which I do, and often). It's akin to a traffic jam, but it's happening in my brain. If you were to observe what I look like in these moments, it's like a bunch of incomplete actions. I will walk to my fridge to get a La Croix, and stop before I get there, or perhaps even open the fridge door and then leave it open before grabbing the La Croix. I'll walk towards my computer to do something but then stop at the kitchen sink, and start doing the dishes or wiping the counter, but then half-way through THAT I'll say "NO" out loud and head back to my computer. I'll be talking to myself as I do this, and it will sound like all I can say is Hodor. I'll get to my computer and start to do the work that I'm terrified to do and have a thousand and yet zero thoughts about, but then I'll open an email and start writing it and abandon it, then I'll remember that I need to put my insurance card in my wallet and get up and look for scissors and then get the scissors but forget what I'm looking for. Around this point, I'll start to become so fucking uncomfortable with what is happening, that I will inevitably get on AirBnB and start planning a trip to somewhere, and then halfway into that, I'll hop over to Amazon to buy some paper towels. I'm not kidding. This is not an exaggeration. Ask Megan.
I look like a robot that's having a melt-down; start, stop; start, stop; bite nails; drink coffee. It happens more often than you'd think, much less than it used to, and it's been this way since I can remember.
In 2010 I read a Harvard Business Review article about this exact phenomenon. There was a picture on the front of the article - it was a sketch of a human brain, and it showed a hundred inputs coming into the brain at once in a funnel-like fashion; and then it showed a traffic jam at the tip of the funnel, inside the brain. It screamed the obvious - WE AREN'T GETTING JACK CRAP DONE BECAUSE WE'RE TRYING TO DO TOO MUCH. The article talked about how when we have too much input, we just jam up. I remember reading it and thinking THIS IS IT; I was so jammed all the time with trying to do everything at once and faster and better. I remember understanding that if I wanted to get something through the funnel, I'd have to take everything out and put it back in one piece at a time. This is why I was so damn good at my job - I knew how to not jam up everyone's gears. This is why I was so bad at me - I didn't know how to save myself from it (I've gotten much better at it).
The image of the funnel-jammed-brain is the image that came to mind as I sat frozen with your 50 comments; not just for me and the lecture itself, but for us, and where we are right now. I thought instead of just jamming it all through to get to the next place, or operating in incomplete half-assed actions and running from one unfinished thing to the next like the house is on fire, or fleeing to our beds with our Netflix and chill, or biting our nails off - that we might just step back a bit from what we are doing, and pull the items out of the funnel, go back to just looking at the simplest aspects of what it means to be stuck.
So that's what this month is. We aren't going to knock out everything at once - we don't even talk about purpose or passion or jobs or any of that shit. We don't talk about manifesting :( We talk about the thing we have to deal with before any of that other stuff can happen - which is what is happening right now, and exactly right now. In other words, we are going to go slow so we can go fast.
I thoroughly hated putting this together. But guess what? I had to put this together. Because that was what was in front of me. And here I am, and the damn thing is sent, and of course, I love it. And now I'm going to get my tattoo finished in Studio City and do my three week's worth of laundry and reconcile my books for May and go to a yoga class and then answer 5,000 Facebook messages and eventually at 10pm tonight meet my friends for Motown Mondays because THOSE are the next things after this thing. And as I'm doing all that, right along with you and all you are doing today that feels possibly mundane or overwhelming or special or not special or backward or sticky or yucky or fucked - I am going to repeat the mantra I'm telling you to repeat:
I am exactly where I'm supposed to be; because this one, we have to keep learning. Forever. (Also note the lecture is not at all about brain traffic jams).
With all my love.
Oh hai! The audio failed in the first few minutes of the lecture :/. SO, I did a little intro, and you have two videos. Please check out the slide deck linked here, slide 32 is your action items for the month. I LOVE YOU.
Here is your meditation for the month! It's a guided meditation. You can download it from dropbox here.
If you are looking for a book to complement this month's message, I recommend When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.
Group Coaching Call.
The coaching call will be hosted live on the third Monday of each month at 5pm Pacific Time. The link to join will be sent the morning of the call.
The replay will be available immediately following the call. All questions and answers (including mentioned resources) will be posted in your respective FAQ page.